'AITA for being furious at my MIL for sharing my private medical information?'
"AITA for being furious at my MIL for sharing my private medical information without my consent?"
| (27f) am married to my husband (25m) of 2 years. His family has always been a very tough spot for us because they are just very different. His mom in particular has always caused problems and is emotionally manipulative as well. I won't get into too much because there is literally a huge list of things she's done.
One thing in particular that kind of annoyed me is that she has his location, which isn't bad in itself however anytime we would leave our city she would text/ call and ask what we were doing/ where we were going. Which I just felt like was kind of a breach of our privacy.
For the story: A few month ago I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. It was very personal and I didn't tell a lot of people at all. Anyways, we were at the hospital and I was getting surgery to remove it and I guess she texted him and said "why are you at the hospital" he replied " (my name) is having surgery" she then replied " is it a baby" he replied "no she has cancer in her uterus I think she's getting it removed".
She then texted my friend and said "hey what kind of cancer does (my name) have?" To which my friend said "cervix". She never spoke to me or asked me or texted me after or anything. I only know because my friend told me "Hey, btw she asked me."
Then about 2 weeks later I get a letter in the mail from my husband's grandmother (his mom's mom) (also keep in mind I have never spoken to his grandmother or even met her. She didn't come to our wedding) with a pamphlet about vaginal health and taking probiotics for BV.
Which I immediately get upset and ask my husband if his mom had told her mom about my surgery. He texted her and she said "yes I told her" and he said "why would you do that (my name) is really upset" and then she replied "well why didn't you tell me I wasn't supposed to tell anyone." I'm soo upset I never want to speak to her again? Am I being dramatic or AITA for being upset when she probably meant well.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Individual_Ad_9213 says:
NTA; but it seems to me that the person who needs an intervention about (a) cutting the figurative umbilical cord known as a locator and (b) keeping his mouth shut about your personal business is your husband.
RoyallyOakie says:
INFO: Why does your husband allow his mother to know his location? You might be angry with the wrong person.
OP responded:
I get that… she’s had it for a long time before we were married because my husband and I were long distance and he would drive a really horrible/ deadly road to come see me on the weekends so it really started as a safety measure but I agree it’s not needed since she was abusing it.
I told him that he needs to stop sharing it with her and he has since stopped. also I’m not defending him but I also think that it’s hard when you don’t know any better, like he had no point of reference that his mother’s behavior wasn’t normal but he has since not spoken to her because I think he realized that this isn’t okay.
Elegant_Bluebird_460 says:
NTA. But I think it is important you narrow your focus here. Your husband is the real problem. He needs to cut the cord with mommy and stop spreading your personal medical information.