'AITA for refusing to babysit my son's half sister three days a week after school?'
"AITA for refusing to babysit my son's half sister three days a week after school?"
My ex cheated on me while I was pregnant and his affair partner, now wife, and I had babies only a few months apart. My son is older for reference. All custody exchanges were done by family members (my mom and his sister) until our son was old enough to walk from one car to the other on his own. Now he is at that age, so we do not need to be face to face.
The reason it got to this point was the cheating and also that my ex and his affair partner asked me to send over baby clothes, bottles, diapers, and other items for their baby when I purchased them for my son and not their daughter.
My ex said they were struggling to afford things and I made it clear I was not responsible for his child with another woman. He told me we could have raised the kids together if I had forgiven him for the affair. Then he called me stuck up and acted like being cheated on was not a big deal.
After that, all communication went through a parenting app. We did not do things together. I did not answer any calls he attempted unless our son was with him. Custody is 50-50, so every other week I do need to answer if he calls. Thankfully he only tried to call for unnecessary reasons a couple of times before this.
My son is now 9. I have never met his half-sister. He knows that they are related but she and I are not, and that is something he accepts. Just like he knows they share grandparents on their dad's side while the other grandparents are just hers or just his.
A couple of weeks ago, my ex called while he had our son and asked me to babysit his daughter three days a week after school. He said his wife was going back to work and they needed childcare for three additional days.
I told him it would never happen and to never ask me again. But he asked again, this time via text, and I ignored him. He tried to make the request through the app we use and I replied one time that I had said no when he called and my answer was still no.
His wife tried to call me and then she texted me ten times saying I needed to be a better mother and put my son first because even though I dislike the situation, her daughter is my son's half-sister and they should grow up close and her daughter should be loved and accepted by me. I ignored her texts.
My ex has tried to guilt trip me with how much they have been through because his wife had stillbirths and miscarriages after their daughter. He has tried to force my hand by getting our son to ask me. At one point he even said he would come over to my house with his daughter so I could meet her and we could agree to this. I let him know I was not going to answer the door if he did this.
He even tried to get his attorney to demand it. There was brief contact between the attorneys. Mine laughed at the attempt to force my hand and told me to continue ignoring him. Am I the jerk?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Due_Investment6485 says:
NTA, full stop. She ain’t your kid.
SeaworthinessDue8650 says:
NTA. However, I think you need to ask your lawyer to file a motion to have a judge order him to stop harassing you.
Witty-Stock-4913 says:
NTA, in the slightest. The nerve. As a heads up, they may try to force your hand by telling the school that you'll be picking her up as well or sending her on his bus. Be prepared to call the police.
leahkisses says:
There's no question about it, your ex is wrong. Don't take care of his kid. His kid he had by cheating on you, his problem.