'AITA for not changing my stance on my husband's affair child or else I'll divorce him?'
"AITA for telling my husband that I am not changing my conditions regarding his son or else we divorce?"
Mindless-Support3708 writes:
I am 38 and have two children, 12M and 8F, with my husband. When my son was 1, my husband cheated on me because our marriage was going through rough waters, and he got his mistress, Selena, pregnant. He fathered a 10-year-old with her, and his name is Jack.
We were nearly about to divorce, but in the end, we reconciled. The condition to reconcile was that he can't bring his affair child to my house. I own my home, which I inherited from my parents.
He pays child support to his ex-mistress and gets one week a month with his affair baby, and he stays that week at his parents' house. So far, it has been good. He also owns his house, but he has to pay a mortgage and has rented his own house out.
Now his ex is traveling for some more weeks, and he has to keep him for longer. He asked me, and I refused that. I also told him that his long absence at home will cause issues, so he has to sort it out with his ex-mistress.
Selena's family doesn't help her because she had an affair with my husband, and they find it pathetic that she mothered a child with a married man. Her family supported me in the past.
He has been calling me names and asking me to reconsider. I told him that the condition of our marriage reconciliation was clear to him, and he chose that back then. I didn't put a gun to his head, and he decided to stay married.
I told him his son can't set foot in my house. If he wants to live with his son, we can divorce. He called me cruel, but I don't want to keep that boy at my place because I know the fact that I won't be nice to him. His mother and I have already gotten into fights physically in the past. Neither I nor my children have met the kid ever.
Except for a few times when my husband tried to sneak them out, and we had a huge fight. After that, he stopped. I told my kids that their father cheated on me with the ex-mistress. Since then, they don't want anything to do with the boy.
I want my kids to stay away from this mess my husband has created. He said he can't divorce me and he will ask his parents to take care of him. Note: He can divorce me. I am not stopping him. But today he told me he doesn't want to.
So my conditions were clear from day one, and he can feel free to divorce me. But my conditions to take him back were clear, and he accepted them. I never put a gun to his head. He can pursue divorce if he doesn't like them.
Here are the top rated comments.
NONE0FURBIZZ say:
He doesn't want to because then he should pay child support x 3 and a mortgage. The thing is, I don't believe the current situation is good for the children either.
sradelacour says:
YTA I’m sorry, but you’re wrong. You chose to stay with your unfaithful husband and even had another child with him. The only innocent ones in this whole story are the children. It’s not fair to treat him the way you are. You’re a terrible person — you and your husband are both pathetic.
MediumSizedMaze says:
Why wait for him to divorce you? Why don’t you divorce him? Based on what you’ve written, you seem to tolerate each other at best. I mean, he obviously sucks for cheating. But why reward him by staying?
Teatimetodayy says:
Your husband sucks A^#, and I am SO Sorry for what he put you through, but that poor child is getting backlash from everyone. BOTH You guys suck as adults. Protecting kids, goes bigger than feelings. You should get therapy, because at the end of the day you ALSO chose to stay married. You ALSO chose to give him another chance. It’s been 10 years.