'AITA for not letting my parents change my name because they regret what they chose?'
AITA for telling my parents I'm not changing my name because of their name regret?
Fast-Emphasis-145 writes:
I'm (16M), my parents' youngest kid, and the only one whose name was chosen based on what they liked, rather than what the family wanted. My siblings were all named after family members, as both my dad's and mom's families preferred.
By the time they had me, my parents were like, "Screw this," and told the family they were going to choose a name based on their own preferences, not family tradition. So, they named me Sunny. Yeah, the "girl version" of Sonny. I don't care. I don't think Sunny is girly just because it has a "u" instead of an "o." But anyway...
My parents started regretting my name when I was around 10. I don't remember exactly when, but I recall being about 10, and they occasionally started calling me by my middle name, only stopping when I told them it was weird and that I liked my first name. When I was 13, they asked if I ever went by a nickname, and I said no.
Last year, they mentioned that some kids change their names before graduating high school because they want something more grown-up, and it helps save on the expense of changing the name on their degree. I was like, "Oh, I guess if people want that, it makes sense." Then I said, "It must suck to hate your name."
Six months ago, my parents said I looked like a James, nicknamed Jamie. I asked them why they thought that, and they said I just had that look. They asked what I thought of the name, and I said I like Jamie, but I prefer Sunny. Then they asked if I liked the name Luke, and I said no.
In June, they asked if I would consider letting them change my name to something different. They said they felt like they named me as a big "screw you" to their families but now regretted giving me such an "unserious" name for a man. I told them I didn’t want to change my name, and I had always loved the way they talked about choosing it.
They said their feelings had changed, and they felt like the name being "cute, light, and full of hope" wasn’t great for my adult years. They said they deeply regretted it. I told them I was glad they made the choice they did and that they shouldn’t stress over it.
But last week, they got the paperwork for a legal name change and presented me with three name choices, asking me to pick one. They said they really didn’t want to live with the guilt. I told them I’m not changing my name because of their regret.
I explained that how I feel about my name is more important now. They told me I should at least consider their feelings and think about the future—whether I’ll be taken seriously with my current name. AITA?
OP responded to some of the top comments from readers.
naisfurious says:
So, are they planning to push you to change your name everytime you change your hair style or wardrobe? Sonny or Sunny, regardless how you spell it is a perfectly normal name for a male. An identity is intertwined with a name and it's hard to separate the two. You, and you alone, are the person that should decide if you want to change your name.
OP responded:
I didn't even think of that but imagine if they had more regrets a year later. I'd never be able to stop changing my name.
Agreeable-Book-7018 says:
You are a minor. I would check and make sure that they can't force a name change.
OP responded:
Oh, they can't. That's why they keep putting pressure on me. At my age they need my consent and for it to be my wish to change it. Not just because they regret it.
MissionHoneyDew2209 says:
NTA - your parents sound EXHAUSTING.
OP responded:
They're reminding me of my grandparents these days and I don't mean that in a good way.