"AITA for not chipping in for a wedding gift after the bride uninvited me?"
"AITA for refusing to chip in for a coworker's wedding gift after literally being uninvited?"
EconomyRange5911 writes:
So I (27F) have been working at this marketing agency for about 2 years. My coworker Jess (31F) is getting married next month and initially invited our whole team (8 people) to her wedding. We're not like besties besties, but definitely friendly, lunch together sometimes, happy hours, the usual work friend stuff.
Last week our office manager Sarah started collecting money for a group gift. She's asking for $200 each which would get us some fancy kitchen gadget from their registry. That's basically what I'd budget for someone I'm actually friends with, but whatever, I was planning to contribute.
WELL. Yesterday I got the most awkward text from Jess saying they "had to make some cuts to the guest list" and unfortunately they couldn't accommodate me anymore. Something about venue capacity and family additions. But here's the kicker, I KNOW FOR A FACT that everyone else on our team is still invited!!!
This morning Sarah comes by my desk asking for my contribution to the gift fund. I politely told her that since I'm no longer invited, I'd rather get Jess a smaller gift on my own. Sarah looked shocked and said "but it's a team gift" and that not contributing the full amount would "mess up the group harmony" (like I give a single f&#k)
The icing on the cake? I know the wedding cut was because Jess invited her old coworker who just got a VP position at a major client. Suddenly there's "no room" for me, but I'm still expected to drop $200 on her registry? Can someone please tell me the truth if I'm the a&*#ole for refusing to contribute the full amount to a wedding I'm not even attending?
Here are the top rated comments.
Salt-Finding9193 says:
Don’t give her a thing. Nothing. Not even a card. No invitation. No gift.
Regular_Boot_3540 says:
$200 is an outrageous ask for a coworker in the first place, unless you make a really high salary. Even so, I wouldn't do it. You're completely NTA, but be prepared for some dirty looks.
PicklesMcpickle says:
NTA- no invitation no gift. Especially uninvited I mean seriously you see her at work. And if your manager has anything to say, go to HR about hostile work environments when everyone else was invited and you were deliberately excluded. I know some works that don't allow collections for gifts for these specific reasons.
Total_Anything_1610 says:
Even if you were still invited to the wedding, you don't HAVE to contribute to a group gift. NTA.
What do you think?