"AITA for spending my money instead of saving it to give to my sister's kids when I die?"
"AITA for not bequeathing my estate to my niece and nephew?"
Snoo-99857 writes:
My husband (42M) and I (34F) are happily married and have decided not to have children. We've worked incredibly hard over the years, building a comfortable life for ourselves, and we plan to enjoy it to the fullest. Our dream is to have a nice pension that allows us to travel and experience the world together.
I have two sisters, both of whom have children. They are both in debt and, quite frankly, not great with money. Recently, they have been vocal about their expectations that my husband and I will leave our estate to their children when we pass. They seem to think that since we don't have kids, we should automatically bequeath everything to our niece and nephew.
I love my niece and nephew dearly, but I don't think it's fair to expect us to give away everything we've worked so hard for. My husband and I want to use our savings to enjoy our retirement and the fruits of our labor. We've saved and sacrificed to build our standard of living, and we feel we deserve to spend it as we see fit.
When I told my sisters about our plans, they were furious. They accused us of being selfish and not caring about the family. They argue that their kids could really use the money for their futures. I countered that it's not our responsibility to fix their financial problems or to fund their children's futures. They called me heartless and greedy, which really hurt.
I understand that they are in a tough spot financially, but I don't think it's right to rely on us as their financial safety net. Am I the a^#$ole for wanting to enjoy my retirement with my husband and not bequeath our estate to my nieces and nephews?
Just to be clear, it's not that I don't care about my family. I've helped my sisters out financially in the past when they were in tight spots, and my husband and I paid off my parents' loan. But I feel there's a difference between helping out occasionally and handing over everything we've worked for once we're gone. Still, my sisters managed to make me feel guilty. So am I (we) TAH?
Here are the top comments:
Turbulent_Ebb5669 says:
Jesus! Are they planning to off you and your husband? by the time you're likely to not be around anymore, your niece and nephew should have their own career's and or children. NTA.
gardenone says:
In this day and age, it’s not uncommon for final medical expenses to exhaust the majority of the estate before the executor can even begin to distribute the property. What exactly are they asking you to do— live on $1/day to save such a huge nest egg that you might have a sizable inheritance to pass down? Weird.
tedivertire says:
How many murder mysteries do you need to read to know what happens next? Of course they are gonna get poisoned by dear sister right after they sign the new will, and as parents to nephew and niece, sister can "hold on" to the inheritance for them. No need to worry about end of life medical expenses!
mvscribe says:
Right? OP is 34. Odds are good that she could live into her 80s or 90s, possibly beyond. 50-70 years from now, a lot of things might have changed. OP's siblings should -- but clearly don't -- understand that planning that far out, and especially trying to dictate someone else's plans that far out, is utterly ridiculous. Also, NTA.
What do you think?