'AITA for refusing to promise my future salary to my brother because I 'owe' the family?'
"AITA for refusing to promise my future salary to my brother because my parents feel I 'owe' the family after a childhood of neglect?"
Even_Committee8552 writes:
I was born a year and nine months after my brother. He's now 19, and I'm 18. My mom always told me, "He has no one but you and me." At eight years old, my older brother was diagnosed with autism.
My mom and dad tried to deny it for a while, taking him to doctor after doctor, and the same result came back: autism. My dad didn't take it well. He started saying how God had cursed this family (my dad's not even that religious!) and kept complaining.
Because of that, I had the misfortune of being the "healthy one." My mom didn't pay much attention to me. I remember times I would be sad, and she would say, "Oh, how do you think your brother feels?" which has not stopped to this day.
Then, I got a new brother when I was seven, which just created more pain for me. That one had epilepsy. One night my mom was changing his diapers, and he had an epileptic seizure. It was 3 a.m.
My mom and dad ran out of the house so fast, and I remember being confused. Then I stayed up for a long time. At 10 a.m., my older cousin arrived to take me and my older brother to my grandparents’ house.
My baby brother needed to stay for 12 days in the hospital for treatment. During that time, my dad, mom, and aunt took my two brothers to the zoo and the amusement park and then to a restaurant, then to my older brother’s doctor appointment. When I asked if they brought me anything, they said, "No, your brother deserves it more."
Now, 10 years from that day, I'm being told that if I get a job, I need to give a part of my future salary to my older brother. When I said it's not my job to do that and that I want to be a writer and live in a foreign country, my mom started to guilt me, saying, "It's selfish. Your brother deserves to be a part of your family." Now I feel like the most selfish person ever.
I'm not saying I hate my mom or my brother. I know people have gone through more than I have. But I just need to know if this is wrong for my family to expect this of me? I need the opinion of someone who isn't connected to us.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Bitbatgaming says:
NTA, why do you need to give your future salary to your brother when your family hasn’t given you the respect you need to tithe your salary in return? I believe it may be best for you to cut them off if you don’t need anything from them.
notAugustbutordinary says:
Your brother will be part of your family, but that doesn’t mean your parents get to tell you to sacrifice your life and the lives of future children for him. Just nod, go uh huh and leave the issue of saying no for when you have that job and no longer live with them.
Flaky_While1612 says:
Girl do your own thing and get away from her. Her kids her responsibility not yours!
0fluffythe0ferocious says:
I'm sorry. What right do any of these people have to your money?