'AITA for refusing to give my sister my wedding dress because her wedding is sham?'
"AITA for refusing to give my sister the wedding dress I bought when I found out she eloped?"
kiki_samm writes:
I (27F) bought a wedding dress last year during a big sale because I knew my fiancé (28M) and I were planning to get married within the next year or so. We ended up postponing due to some family medical issues, but the dress has been safely stored, and I love it.
My sister (24F) got engaged three months ago and announced she was planning a big wedding. She didn’t have much money for a dress, and our parents aren’t in a position to help her financially. She asked me if she could “borrow” my wedding dress. I was hesitant because it’s really special to me, but I told her we could discuss it closer to her wedding.
Fast forward to last week: I found out from a cousin that my sister already eloped a month ago and had a private ceremony with her now-husband. She didn’t tell anyone because she “wanted it to be special.” She still wants to have a reception and wear a wedding dress for photos and the party.
She came over yesterday assuming she would take my dress to the cleaners to prepare for her reception. I told her I wasn’t comfortable with her using it, since she’s already married and I haven’t even worn it for my own wedding yet. She got really upset and said I was being selfish, that I’m not even using the dress right now, and that she can’t afford a nice one herself.
Our mom is now saying that “family should help each other,” but I feel like it’s unfair to use the dress for photos when she’s already had her wedding and I haven’t had mine. My sister says I’m punishing her for eloping and that it’s “just a dress.” Now I’m getting guilt-tripped by family, and I’m wondering if I’m being petty. AITA?
People responded to OPs post.
opine704 says:
If its just a dress - good ole sis can just rent a dress. NTA. Imagine the entitlement demanding to wear someone else's UNWORN wedding dress. (Tell me who the golden child is without telling me...)
lihzee says:
NTA. I don't know why you were considering letting her use the dress that you intend to eventually wear in the fist place, honestly. "I’m not even using the dress right now, and that she can’t afford a nice one herself." Tough. That's life sometimes. We don't always get everything we want. If she can't afford her own dress, why does she feel entitled to yours?
Non-sense-syllables
Why do people who want something say things like “it’s just a dress.” If it really didn’t matter they wouldn’t want to borrow it If it’s just a dress she can wear any old dress, but it’s not just a dress is it? It’s a special dress.
And that’s why she wants it. So no, NTA and don’t give it to her, it won’t be your wedding dress anymore. It will be hers. She should have been smart like OP and buy one in a sale too. Too bad for her.
Moose-Live says:
ESH. "We'll discuss it closer to the time" but actually, you already know your answer. Just be honest next time.