'AITA for not going to DND night because I'm pregnant despite my husband demanding it?'
"AITA for not going to DND because I am pregnant?"
ThrowRa01123456 writes:
I [22F] have been with my [22M] husband—let’s call him Dave—for five years. We have a little girl together, who I will refer to as Brianne. I am currently pregnant with our next child. I am 10 weeks along, so I’m in the prime time for nausea and vomiting, and I have been experiencing a lot of it.
Every other Wednesday, my husband and I drop off our daughter at a grandparent’s house so we can play DND with our group. Today, I have thrown up three times and do not feel any better. I work at a preschool, so I am lucky to be able to bring my daughter to work.
I work Monday through Friday. My husband has Tuesdays and Wednesdays off and works weekends. Even on the days Dave has off, I still take Brianne to work so he can really rest. On the weekends, I am still a mom, and Dave cannot take Brianne, so breaks are hard to come by.
I was sleeping during Brianne’s nap today when my husband shook me awake to say we needed to leave right now to go to DND. I immediately got a headache—probably from being dehydrated—and felt sick, so I told him I think I need to rest and not go this time.
Dave was obviously frustrated, and he said, "I put my foot down. You are going." He said we agreed to do this every other Wednesday, so we are doing it. I told him he can still go without me.
Dave continued, saying, "Well, I am just going to tell everyone you didn’t want to come." I told him that’s not true—I did not want to miss out, but I need to rest and not put my body through more activity right now.
So, I texted the group chat to let them know I wasn’t coming because I had been throwing up and needed to rest. The whole group was very kind and understanding, saying "We will protect Orok (my character)!" and "Get better!" Which was nice and actually made me tear up a little because it made me feel cared for.
Soon after I sent that to the chat, Dave said he was leaving Brianne home. I asked, "Why can you not take her still so that I can actually rest?" He said it was a waste of time to take her to Grandma’s when he could just leave her here with me.
He has been fully aware of how sick I have been these past couple of weeks, as he has heard me throwing up in the bathroom. So, I told him that he was being selfish and only thinking about himself.
He got extremely flustered and started to get our daughter ready. I told him his frustration toward me and lack of care was making me scared, and he should not leave our daughter at home. At that point, Dave started ignoring me.
I began to plead with him to leave her here because, in my mind during this, I thought, "If he cannot treat his wife with love and respect, I cannot trust him to do the same with our daughter."
However, he talked sweetly to Brianne despite his attitude toward me. On his way out, he was short and harsh in tone when saying goodbye. He texted me literally 40 minutes ago with an apology, but I am debating whether I really have anything to apologize for, too. He really got me wondering—AITA for canceling plans?
Here are the top rated comments.
Awkward-Houseplant says:
NTA- He’s literally putting a GAME ahead of his pregnant wife. He’s acting like a basement dwelling 25 year old that still lives with his parents. Throwing a fit because his little game night didn’t go as planned. Meanwhile you’re responsible for the care of your child 24/7 all while creating a new child.
LienaSha says:
INFO: Does Dave do anything for you ever? Does he take Brianne in the evenings for a few hours? Does he take care of chores? Does he cook? Honestly, you're NTA either way, but I'm curious if he's otherwise a good husband and this was a one-off instance or whether he's a generally slug-like creature you'd be better off without.
Teshi says:
Wtf. Absolutely NTA. What in the world could you have to apologize for. You are sick and tired with the pregnancy stage you are in and need this one evening off, a perfectly normal thing to do when you're not feeling your best. Everyone with a brain understands. Why in the world would your husband be even remotely upset about this?
Human_Ad7946 says:
NTA - but you already knew that. My question is, why did you choose to post this specific scenario? Because I am unwilling to believe that Dave suddenly became an AH this one and only time. You're only 22 years old and about to become saddled with two children with a guy, that I can only imagine, treats you poorly more often than you'd like to admit.