"AITA for saying my dad's affair partner's kids should help her out not me?'
"AITA for saying if dad's affair partner needs more help it should come from her kids?"
StruggleSoz0x16 writes:
I (16m) live with my dad, his affair partner (wife) and her two kids 12 and 8. I have an older sister (19f) who's in college. What happened is four years ago my parents divorced because my mom, sister and I found out my dad was cheating.
The affair partner's husband also found out about the affair. My mom and the affair partner's husband divorced their spouses and that left my dad and his affair partner to get married. The affair partner's ex stopped seeing the kids after he found out about the affair. And it's not because they're my dad's. They can't be since the kids are a different race just like their dad.
My sister and I turned our backs on dad after we found out about the affair. Dad had been a good dad before the affair but he stopped spending time with us and was always busy with work or "in therapy" outside of work to focus on us and we found out why.
My mom got primary custody of us and that was a huge relief. But mom died unexpectedly last year and then I had no other choice but to move in with dad and his affair partner. They tried to convince my sister to move in too but she was going away for college and wanted nothing to do with them.
When dad's affair partner tried to suggest she should stay a while my sister told her to die. Then she blocked my dad on her phone and she only talks to me. We talk almost every day. I keep her updated on how awful it is living with them.
My dad made me go to therapy with them but the therapist fired us because I wouldn't engage and my dad insisted she find some way to help us. My dad and I argued and I told him I didn't want to try or to make things work.
He told me we need to because I can't hide behind my mom anymore. He said he was sorry for upsetting me and my sister but we should try to understand he fell in love. I told him I didn't care and I was only there until I didn't have to be and then I'd do what my sister did.
I do have other family but none in the same state and that's a big deal. My grandparents tried to get custody of me but apparently being 16 it doesn't matter because out of state and living parent makes that a huge no.
So now my dad and his affair partner are expecting a baby and she's got a bunch of complications. She was sick a lot, bleeding a lot and her blood pressure is really bad apparently.
My dad and her wanted me to help her out when I get back from school and help take care of stuff until my dad gets back but I said no and I ignored them. I actually just come home late after school and if she asks me to get her water or whatever when I'm at the house I ignore her.
They told me how serious all this stuff is that she could die and the baby could die and I need to help because of how serious this is and whatever. I told them they should ask her kids for help because I don't care what happens to her.
I said I don't even want to be here and I never want to be here. I said they were sick and they needed to leave me alone because they weren't making a family out of the mess they created. They went nuts about her kids being younger and how I should care for any human life. AITA?
OP added context in the comments.
wasmachmada says:
Your father is an absolute pos. Instead of helping you grieve your mother he decided to add another problem to your life by impregnating his affair partner, but what else can be expected from a cheater.
OP responded:
He thought mom dying would get me and my sister back in his life. He didn't expect my sister to block him and for me to keep the walls up and the emotional distance going. But he proved to us how shitty he is and we don't want to be a part of his new family. I wonder if his affair partner's freaked out that he'll cheat now that she's basically stuck doing nothing most of the day.
MacChicken25 says:
12 years old is too young to fetch a glass of water? Dad and AP are vile and her kids may be a tad bit entitled. NTA.
OP responded:
I don't think the kids are entitled I think she just doesn't want to ask. I think the oldest has some issues with dad's affair partner because of the cheating and breaking up their family too. It doesn't look like they're too close.