'AITA for not letting my mom or sister watch my baby when I’m not around?'
"AITA for not letting my mom or sister watch my baby when I’m not around?"
I am 25F, my husband is 26M, and we had our first baby in May 2025. I had a really hard pregnancy, was put on bed rest, and was out of work from February to August with no pay. Because of that, I try not to miss work unless I absolutely have to.
My son also had a rough start. He had trouble eating and almost came home on a feeding tube. He is doing fine now, but because of that, we are cautious. I make most of his baby food and do not give him sugar or caffeine. He is 7 months old, and our pediatrician said to wait until at least a year.
Outside of my husband and me, he is only watched by a trusted family friend who babysits him along with two other kids. My sister has babysat him four times total, mostly to help with work or doctor’s appointments. My sister, 36F, is a paramedic, has no kids, and is struggling with infertility.
One night, she was supposed to take my baby to my mom’s house after work. When I got off work around 9 p.m., I called my mom to check on my then 6-month-old and found out he was not there. My sister had taken him out to eat over an hour and a half away, out of state, without telling me. That really bothered my husband and me, but we did not say anything at the time.
Later, my sister admitted she gave my baby ice cream, whipped cream, and sweet tea, and let him drink sweet tea from her straw. I was uncomfortable with the sugar, caffeine, and germs, but it was Thanksgiving dinner, so I did not make a scene. When I asked if she was joking, she laughed and said no and that he liked it.
Later that same day, she tried again to give him sweet tea. I told her not to, but she did it anyway. When I reached for the cup, she turned away and gave him a sip. I walked away because I was upset.
At another point, my husband tried to take our baby from her so she could get food. She did not want to give him up and held onto him tighter at first. My husband stayed calm but did not let go until she handed him back. We did not argue, but it made us really uncomfortable.
My family says I am just being an overprotective first-time mom and that “a taste will not hurt,” because that is how they did things growing up. I have also tried to be considerate of my sister’s infertility and did not want to push her away.
That said, I do not feel like I can trust her to respect our rules when we are not around. I have decided I do not want my mom or sister watching my son unless either my husband or I is there, and I have not let her keep him since. AITA for setting that boundary?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
37_lucky_ears says:
NTA what the hell. In no way would I let sister touch that child again because she drove hours away without telling you and gave him super unhealthy foods. Like....girl. "This is my baby, these are my rules." They are not unreasonable rules to any normal person.
Distinct-Brilliant73 says:
ESH. You didn’t “want to cause a scene” when your baby was on a feeding tube in the hospital for months and your doctor gave strict instructions on his diet? This is EXACTLY when to put your foot down. I don’t care if your sister is infertile or the whole family is telling you you’re overreacting.
Your child cannot advocate for himself, and both you and your husband seemingly refuse to in order to keep the peace. I’d suggest you BOTH start growing a backbone before something happens to your child’s health that cannot be undone.
ItchyDoggg says:
"That said, I don’t feel like I can trust her to respect our rules when we’re not around." Did you read your own post? You can't trust her to respect your rules when you are around! NTA at all and I would absolutely never let her around the kid alone again - she will 100% tell them you are wrong, enable any misbehavior and undermine your authority on any occasion she doesn't share your opinion. That kind of help isn't helping.
justbunnies says:
NTA. Even if your child didn’t have those issues at birth, all of that is inappropriate at the times your sister was giving it to him. Not only that, but she is seriously overstepping her role as AUNT- not mother.