'AITA after I told my friend she can't borrow my car because of how she returned it last time?'
"AITA for not letting my friend borrow my car after how she returned it last time?"
SnooDoughnuts4408 writes:
I (27F) have a decent used car that I worked hard to pay off. It’s nothing fancy, but it runs well and I take really good care of it—regular maintenance, I keep it clean, no smoking, no trash left inside, etc. I’ve always been a little protective of it because I rely on it every day for work.
A few months ago, my friend (29F) let’s call her Sarah, asked to borrow it for a weekend trip because her car was in the shop. I hesitated but said yes because we’ve been friends for years and I wanted to help.
She returned it two days later with: Less than a quarter tank of gas (I’d filled it before giving it to her), Fast food wrappers in the back seat, Dirt all over the passenger floor, And the cherry on top: a mystery scratch on the back bumper she swore “was already there” (it wasn’t) I didn’t say much at the time because I hate confrontation, but I was honestly pissed. Especially because I expected more out of someone who I am friends with .
Flash forward to this week, she texts me asking if she can borrow my car again for a different trip. I told her no, very politely , and said I just wasn’t comfortable loaning it out anymore.
She seemed to have gotten upset with me and was saying things like “are you sure you can’t just help me out, I feel like that’s what friends do for each other” like I feel like she’s guilt tripping me.
I responded initially but now I’m waiting to reply to her. But now I’m getting messages from another mutual friend saying I’m being too uptight and that it wouldn’t kill me to help her out “just this once.” I feel like I’m being guilt-tripped for setting a boundary after already being taken advantage of once. Am I the a^#%ole for refusing to let her borrow my car again?
Here are the responses to OP's post.
flowerybutterfly96 says:
I really don't get when people call others out for not doing something. Why don't they lend her their car, their metro card, whatever. Or, here's a novel thought. They have rental cars!
I know, what a wacky idea. But it might be better to keep friends, if she rented a car. NTA. If she insists, tell her you need a thousand dollar cash deposit, you know for cleaning, mystery scratches, etc.
OP responded:
Honestly probably because my car is bigger so she must’ve liked the extra space and I guess the part where she doesn’t have to clean it or fill up on gas. I don’t even know if she is missing her car this time , she just asked about borrowing but didn’t say why.
Living-Ad8963 says:
NTA. The answer to that text is "I already loaned it to her just the once. The way she treated it ensured it will be just the once."
angelicak92 says:
"Nah, I'm not lending my car out to anyone. There are lots of cheap rental companies out there or public transport is great :) Have a good trip!" Don't back down. She's not your friend, and she's obviously already talking s^#t about you behind your back. NTA.