Sad-Young2926 writes:
My mom and dad aren’t together. I (F15) used to live mostly with my mom, but I started staying with my dad more, and a few weeks ago, I decided I just wanted to live with my dad for several reasons.
One: his house is a lot nicer than my mom’s apartment. I have my own room and bathroom here. At my mom’s, I have to share a room with my sister (F16), and there’s only one bathroom for everyone. My dad’s house has a laundry room too.
With my mom, we have to go to a laundromat. My dad’s house also has a big backyard and a pool. I don’t have to share anything either. If I want to play games, I can just play, or I can watch what I want whenever I want. We also have a lot more streaming services here.
Two: his house is closer to my school. It’s only five minutes away by car, and my dad’s wife can drive me every day. When I’m at my mom’s, I have to take the bus, which takes almost an hour, so I have to get up a lot earlier. I also don’t like riding the bus.
Three: since it’s just me, my dad, and my stepmom here, it’s a lot quieter than at my mom’s, where there’s me, my mom, my sister, my brother, and my stepdad. It’s always loud there.
Four: I can’t really invite friends over to my mom’s because she and my stepdad use the living room as their bedroom, so it would be weird. Here, it’s not a problem because there’s plenty of space for me and my friends to hang out.
The problem is, since I live with just my dad now, my mom doesn’t get child support from him for me. Without that money, she and my stepdad can’t afford their apartment, so they’re going to have to move to a smaller one.
My mom and stepdad haven’t said anything to me about it, but my sister told me. She’s upset because it means she’s going to have to share a bedroom with our brother (M11). That’s a lot worse for her because she’s used to just sharing a room with me sometimes. Now she’ll have to share a room with him all the time. She’s blaming me since all I would have to do is continue sleeping there sometimes. I just really don’t like it though.
dejavu7331 says:
NTA - are your other siblings half siblings? I don’t blame you at all for wanting to live exclusively with your dad. your mom’s finances aren’t your responsibility.
OP responded:
Yeah, we just have the same mom.
canvasshoes2 says:
NTA. It's not your dad's responsibility to care for children that are not his. It's not just your comfort. It's your HS years and if there's an optimal living arrangement for you, you should take it. Your mom and step dad need to step up to the plate and handle their own finances. It's not your dad's job to make sure things work for them.
the_dark_viper says:
NTA. Look, it's not your responsibility to be a means of financial support to your Mom, Stepdad, and half-siblings. It seems like you have better peace of mind and privacy at your Dad's, which is important. Plus, what is your mom going to do when you turn 18, and he no longer has to pay her child support for you?