'AITA for not letting my sister wear my old wedding dress?'
"AITA for not letting my sister wear my old wedding dress?"
Me (23F) and my sister (27F) used to be close, until now. I got married last September, and my wedding dress was custom made. I mean everything, down to the smallest details. It’s been sitting in what I call my wedding box, which holds mementos and photos, ever since.
Anyway, my sister is getting married in June this year and has been planning her wedding for two years. She came to me earlier this week and asked if she could wear my dress because it would mean a lot to her. I said, “As much as I love you, I can’t do that. I’m sorry. My wedding dress is very important to me, and I had it custom made.”
She got very upset and started yelling, saying, “You and I are the same size, so I wouldn’t break it, and you know how much I love your dress.” To add some context, my sister adores my dress. It’s a gold and light purple ball gown, and yes, we are close in size. I responded, “I understand that, but it’s not your size I’m worried about. It’s the fact that I’m not ready to see someone else in my dress.”
She continued to throw a tantrum, screaming and pulling her hair, which was concerning. She yelled that her wedding is in June and that it’s unfair not to let her have a dress. I told her she’s been planning this for two years and could have easily picked a dress by now.
She said she was relying on me saying yes, even though she never directly asked before and only mentioned that she thought it was pretty. I told her that relying on me to say yes was unreasonable and that I’m not obligated to let her wear it. She stormed out.
An hour later, her fiancé called me and told me how awful I am and that the dress would look better on her anyway. My husband defended me, saying, “It’s her dress, which has a very emotional memory tied to it. And don’t insult my wife.
You may be marrying into this family, but that doesn’t give you the right to speak to her that way.” He’s a very good husband. Her fiancé hung up, and now she’s threatening to uninvite me from the wedding. AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
reads_to_much
NTA. She is being an entitled brat right now.. Do not give in to her. If you have a family member on your husbands side of the family you can completely trust you should move the dress there until after the wedding.
arifaix says:
NTA. Your sister is acting entitled.
Substantial_Whole747 says:
NTA Kudos to your husband for having your back like that! This seems pretty left field for a close sisterly relationship to unfold this way, but you handled the situation respectfully. Her behavior is quite concerning, so I suppose you will have to approach that in the way you know how either by talking to her or speaking to other family to see what’s the deal. Good luck to you OP!
Cool-Falcon5093 says:
NTA it’s your thing, you can decide not to give it to someone. Also she’d wind up making a sentimental claim to it to; you would wind up sharing it for life. Her reaction all the more reason to disengage. I’m guessing this isn’t the first time you’ve had trouble keeping ownership of your things with her around.