'AITA for not letting my sister’s fiancé move into my home?'
"AITA for not letting my sister’s fiancé move into my home?"
A while back I posted something similar and got support, although this situation is both similar and different. I will start from the beginning, which was roughly three years ago when my sister (26F) started dating Kevin (28M).
I never liked him, and because I never really gave him a chance, he never liked me either. At first, I thought I was just being an overprotective older brother and letting that cloud my judgement. However, my sister’s friends do not like him either, and he was fired from his job earlier this year for behavioral issues, which shows that my concerns were not completely unfounded.
Him losing his job is where this issue began. He lost his job two months before their rental contract was due to renew, and since they could not afford the place on my sister’s wage alone, they had to move out.
They had three realistic options. The first one was to find a cheaper rental, but with only one income it would be difficult for them to get approved. The second option was to move in with Kevin’s parents, but my sister was very against that.
According to her, his parents are intrusive and do not respect privacy, and they live over two hours away. This would mean my sister would have to travel around two and a half hours each way to get to work, and she would be far from everyone in her life. It would be a complete disaster for her.
The final option was me. Our parents moved to Italy a few years ago so our mom could be closer to her family, and technically it also put our dad closer to his family in Greece. But it really is not viable for my sister to move to Italy. I did jokingly suggest it, since it would be cheaper than Melbourne.
I also said I would happily take my sister in. I live in a three bedroom house, so she could move into the guest room and use the main bathroom as her own. I use my ensuite because it is closer to my wardrobe. I enjoy living alone, but I spent around twenty years living with her, so I have no issue with her moving in.
I do have issues with Kevin moving in though. I do not trust him in my house. I feel he would delay finding work because I told my sister she does not need to contribute financially and should focus on saving money. I know he would take advantage of that. And again, I simply do not like him. I even told my sister my only rule is that Kevin cannot come inside my house, let alone live with us.
Thankfully my sister agreed with my rule, and this has clearly strained her relationship with Kevin. He moved back home, and they are lucky if they see each other once a fortnight. Kevin has gone through almost every stage of grief trying to convince me to let him move in. He still has not accepted my answer, but that is not my problem.
My sister is not arguing on his behalf, and I was worried she would resent me, but honestly things are going great. Our relationship has not been affected, and she has always been tidier than I am, so the house looks better than ever. I feel like their engagement might end. I do not necessarily feel bad if it does, but I know I put a very large wedge between them. So, AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
3boymumandoma says:
NTA You may have given your sister the out she needed.
aeroeagleAC says:
It is your home, you can decide who stays there. If it was a problem for your sister she would have said no.
aspermyprevious says:
NTA. Your sister may be amenable to this because she’s close to a break up. Just let it play out and keep up the firm ‘no,’ just in case.
Exotic-Rooster4427 says:
Your home your peace. You are allowed whoever you want in there.