'AITA for operating out of spite and not making my colleague a birthday cake?'

"AITA For no longer making my colleagues a birthday cake."

MissHappy_Gilmour writes:

So I (30F) am a chef and have been working at a high-end restaurant for almost two years. Since I started, I made it a point to find out when a fellow colleague's birthday was and make them a cake or sweet treat to celebrate, then share it with everyone else working.

Since then, I have made numerous treats at work for birthdays. I have also made them at home and brought them in the next day if I was off or if we were closed, along with going out early in the morning on my days off to buy specific treats for one reason or another to drop off before service started.

My birthday, however, was a month ago, and no one at work did a single thing. They knew it was my birthday over the weekend when we were closed, because they all asked me about it the following workweek. I was pretty hurt, but let it go and told myself that I wouldn’t be making any effort for any more birthdays unless specifically told to by my boss.

Now it’s someone’s birthday tomorrow, which I didn’t know about until a colleague emailed me saying, “It’s [Name]’s birthday tomorrow.” That’s it. That was the whole message. No hello or how are you, just those four words, and it rubbed me the wrong way.

I worked a semi-solo shift today, and everyone else was off and could have organized something. I was very busy, as it’s prep day today, which I do at the start of every week, prepping specific items for other sections to help them get a head start.

After a couple of exchanges, I held firm and told them I was too busy tomorrow to do it and that I won’t be making a cake for anyone for the remainder of the year, as no one put any effort into mine this year. They said, “Ok, fair.” Now I feel terrible and am second-guessing whether to make something small at work, even though we are incredibly busy tomorrow. AITA?

Here are some some of the responses to OP's post.

Classic-Actuary-234 says:

NTA, bakeries are open all year round. Your time and effort should be appreciated, not expected.

AmericanDesertWitch says:

I was also the baking person in my office, and I also stopped when no one bothered to even get a card for me. One dipshit even said to me on my birthday, "I was going to make some cupcakes or something for you because you always do it for everyone. But I decided to put my new TV up instead." I actually looked at him and said, "why would you ever tell someone that?" His mouth fell open and I walked away.

elevenohnoes says:

NTA it sounds like everyone there just expects someone else to take care of it, and when it's your bday you're obviously not going to make your own treats so nobody does. Totally fair that from now on nobody else gets a cake or anything. They're not worth putting in effort for. They're clearly not your friends, so treat them as co-workers.

synaesthezia says:

Nope. If anyone asks, just say loudly “oh, I thought we weren’t doing that anymore, no one got me a cake.” Hold the line. NTA.

What do you think?