'AITA for refusing to sell my house because my jealous wife is mad I ran into my ex?'
"AITA for telling my wife we are not going to move just because my ex bought a house near where we lived"
Dense_Wolf5867 writes:
My wife and I have been married for three years and together for six. A couple of years ago, we bought a house in a pretty nice community. It was a huge investment, but the house has been worth it, and our community is very peaceful.
Last week, when my wife and I were walking in the park, we ran into my ex. I was shocked because I hadn’t seen or spoken to her in a very long time. For context, my ex and I dated throughout high school and college—almost nine years.
We were really serious about marriage, but ultimately, we both got cold feet and broke up. The breakup was the worst experience of my life, and it took me a lot of time and therapy to get over it. However, I ultimately did move on, and it’s all in the past now.
When I ran into my ex, we were both surprised and caught up on life. My ex had bought a house in this community a few months ago with the help of her parents. My ex was really friendly with my wife too. We had a pretty short conversation, and that was it.
However, when my wife and I got home, she completely freaked out. She said this was intentional on my ex’s part—that she had bought a house near where we lived. She said during my entire conversation with my ex, my ex was “furiously blushing.” I told my wife to relax and stop overthinking this, and that it was just a coincidence that my ex had bought a house in our community.
The next day, my wife brought up the possibility of moving. I told her there was no way we were moving, especially after all the effort we put into moving here. I told my wife she just needed to relax and stop freaking out for no reason. AITAH?
Here are the top rated comments:
jrm1102 says:
NTA - your wife’s suggestion is kind of ridiculous. I was waiting for the ex to be some toxic unhinged mess not simply, existing in the same community.
x271815 says:
You are asking the wrong question. Your wife is insecure. She explained why. Your ex and you were very close. While you say you are over it, you needed a lot of therapy and your wife probably doesn’t feel you are. And I get the sense that she feels your ex is not over you.
Here is the thing. Rather than dismissing her fears as invalid, which will only heighten them, focus on building trust with her. Focus on your relationship with her. You are NTA for saying you will not move. Your wife may not be entirely unjustified in her insecurities so work on building more trust in your relationship.
West-Benefit1907 sa
NTA, but I would speak to your wife and re-assure her. Make sure she knows that you love and cherish her and not your previous relationship. You admitted that your break up was difficult and I’m sure you spoke to your wife about your ex. She is aware of how deeply you were hurt, which means how deeply you loved her in the past.
This to her is threatening. It may be a coincidence, but it is still a threat to her marriage with you. Be gentle and patient with your wife. Make sure she knows how much you love her. And no “run ins” with your ex.
AlwaysHelpful22 says:
It’s crazy to move away due to one chance encounter with an ex. Now, if she was caught sneaking in your house and trying on your wife’s clothes, then I’d consider moving. Otherwise, NTA.
What do you think?