'AITA for refusing to do my dad's job and pay for my little brother's college tuition?'
AITA for refusing to help pay for my younger brother’s college because my dad never saved up for him?
darbybarbe writes:
I (26F) graduated from college a couple of years ago. I worked my butt off to get through school, juggling scholarships, loans, and part-time jobs to pay for everything on my own. My dad (55M) remarried when I was 18, and I have a half-brother (17M) who’s about to graduate high school.
Recently, my dad asked if I could help out with my brother’s college expenses because he and his wife didn’t save up for it. He said I should be able to afford it now that I have a full-time job, and because I “got lucky” with scholarships, it would only be fair if I helped my brother since “family helps family.”
I love my brother, but I told my dad I can’t be responsible for his education, especially when I had to figure everything out on my own. My dad didn’t give me any financial support during college, so I don’t see why it’s suddenly my responsibility now. He got mad, called me selfish, and now both my stepmom and brother are giving me the cold shoulder.
I feel guilty because my brother has nothing to do with this, but at the same time, I just started my career and am trying to build a life of my own. AITA for saying no to helping pay for my brother’s education?
OP responded to some of the top comments:
SushiGuacDNA says:
NTA. Good for you. It is crazy for your dad to expect you to do HIS job for him. You never "saved up" for your brother's school either, but more to the point, it was never even your responsibility to do that.
Your job right now is to get your life established, maybe save up a house, or a trip you'd like to take. You wouldn't be an a^#%ole even if you set a hard rule that zero dollars go from you to them. (I think you should.) Maybe someday, but not when your dad is 55. He's the responsible grownup, or should be, and it's time for him and his wife to act the part.
OP responded:
Thank you. I feel like he wants me to compensate for the mistakes he made some years ago, that's why he is asking me to try and pay for my brother's college.
Immontes says:
NTA. They see you as someone earning money with no children. Not cool. But you are just starting so do what you need to do for YOU.
OP responded:
That's exactly what I thought aswell. He thinks I don't have any children so my money that I EARN should be invested in my brother's college when it was his job to do so.