'AITA for refusing when my sister asked my wife to pay for her wedding but not attend?'
"AITA for refusing to help my sister pay for her wedding after she didn’t invite my wife?"
Ecstatic_General3710 writes:
I (30M) have been married to my wife (28F) for three years, together for seven. My sister (33F) is getting married this summer. We've always had a rocky relationship, but I thought we were in a better place recently.
A few weeks ago, she sent out wedding invites. I got one addressed only to me, with no mention of my wife. At first, I thought it was a mistake, but when I asked her about it, she said, "I just want a small wedding with people I’m close to. I don’t really know your wife that well, and I want to feel comfortable at my own wedding."
I was stunned. My wife has attended every family gathering for the past six years, helped my sister with errands when she was sick, and even watched her dog when she went out of town. It’s not like they’re strangers.
I told my sister I wouldn’t come unless my wife was invited. She got upset and accused me of being dramatic and trying to make her day about me. Then a few days later, she called and asked if I’d still be contributing the $5,000 I’d promised last year to help with her wedding. I said a big no.
Now the whole family is blowing up my phone, saying I’m punishing her over a guest list and ruining her wedding financially. My parents think I’m being petty, and my aunt said, "She’s your sister. Weddings aren’t about fairness."
Even my cousin messaged me saying I’m being weirdly controlling. I don’t think I’m being petty. I just don’t see why I should pay for a wedding that my wife, my life partner, isn’t even allowed to attend. AITAH here?
OP got a bunch of responses to his post.
Putrid-Pepper-6810 says:
NTA. Sounds like your sister resents your wife for some reason and wants to isolate her. Big up for standing with her.
Fingerlings29 says:
Tell them the 5K is actually from your wife.
DifferenceBusiness66 says:
NTA. If your sister wants a small wedding, she should cut the guest list AND the budget...by $5000!! Preposterous! Your whole family is being unreasonable about this, too. Maybe remind them that the $5000 is also your wife's money. Why should she contribute to a wedding she's not invited to?!
Severe_Magazine_9958 says:
If she can't afford a wedding then she shouldn't have one.
What do you think?