'AITA for refusing to pay for my sister’s wedding after she invited my ex instead of me?'
"AITA for refusing to pay for my sister’s wedding after she invited my ex instead of me?"
Remarkable-Sample122 writes:
My sister, "Emily," is getting married soon. We've been close our whole lives, until my recent breakup with my ex, "Chris." Chris and I were together for 5 years, and it was serious. We split up three months ago because Chris decided to pursue a career opportunity overseas, and I wasn't willing to move.
Now, Emily and Chris have always gotten along, but I never imagined she'd take his side over mine. Yesterday, I got the shock of my life. Emily calls me up and casually mentions that she has invited Chris to the wedding – as a groomsmen!
Worse still, she tells me that because of the 'limited guest list,' I am not invited anymore. Her reasoning? She thinks my presence alongside Chris would create drama and ruin her day.
Here's where I might be the AH: I was supposed to pay for half of Emily's wedding (it was my gift to her as we come from a modest background and she's always dreamt of a big wedding).
Feeling betrayed and hurt, I told her that if she thinks uninviting me to accommodate my ex is okay, then she should also be fine without my financial support. Emily blew up at me, calling me petty and selfish. She said I was ruining her special day and manipulating her emotionally.
Now, family members are divided, with some saying I'm justified and others saying I'm being too harsh and letting my breakup affect my sister's happiness. So, AITA?
Here are the top comments:
bathroomstallghost says:
NTA (Not the A^%*ole). Don't bite the hand that feeds, etc.
RNGinx3 says:
NTA. You're not obligated to give a gift to a wedding you're not invited to. Ettiquite 101. Emily literally bit the hand that fed her. Tell the family that are on her side, they are welcome to literally put their money where their mouths are, since they are still invited.
Trick_Parsley_3077 says:
NTA. Your sister chose your ex over you?! Rude! Well, I guess Chris can pay for half the wedding then! Please do not feel guilty for rescinding your offer…how can Anyone in their right mind especially your sister expect you to pay half after she has disrespected you in such a big way?
jmg4craigslist says:
NTA. You made a commitment to your sister to find half her special day. But at that time you were a part of that day, and likely in the wedding party. She has every right to rescind your invitation, as it is her wedding.
But she cannot expect you to pay for an event you are no longer actively participating in. It is not emotional manipulation. It is not selfish. Why should she benefit after punishing you for not wanting to move overseas?
Basically, she wants to punish you for breaking “Chris’s” heart and you do not have to reward her for doing it. I am curious, when you broke up with “Chris” was it amicable or acrimonious? You have the right not to want to move. Did he blame you for his opportunity?
butterfly-garden says:
NTA. Your sister f%@^ed around and found out. Don't give her a dime! She made her choices, now she has to live with the consequences.
What do you think? Should OP still pay for the wedding?