'AITA for refusing to pay for my sister's wedding after she lied about her finances?'
AITA for refusing to pay for my sisters wedding after I found out she lied about her finances?
brownbeautyxx writes:
So, I (28F) recently found myself in a really tough spot with my little sister (25F), and I’m struggling to figure out if I’m in the wrong here. A little backstory: My sister has been planning her wedding for over a year, and I’ve been saving up to help her out financially. Our family isn’t wealthy, so we all pitched in to make her dream wedding come true.
About three months ago, she told me that her wedding budget was way over the limit, and she asked if I could give her an extra $10,000 to cover costs (in two $5,000 payments). Of course, this is a lot of money, so naturally, I was a bit hesitant, but she’s my little sister, so I wanted to support her.
Long story short, I agreed to help, even though it meant dipping into my own savings. She promised that this would be her last financial request and assured me that her budget was tight but manageable.
Fast forward to last week: I found out through a mutual friend that my sister had actually saved a significant amount of money on her own and had been misrepresenting her financial situation to our immediate family (me, mom, and dad, who are all pitching in).
Before anyone asks if I’m sure, yes, I am. Part of the money I gave her was supposed to help cover hotel costs for guests (which is normal in my culture, for anyone wondering), and I found out from a mutual friend that the hotel rooms were actually $110 per night... but she had told me they were $200. That’s a big difference!
She also told my mom and me that she and her fiancé weren’t having a honeymoon to save on costs. Turns out, that’s not true either—she sent pictures of her flight reservation (to FIJI!) in her girls’ group chat.
An extremely expensive destination! It’s very clear her plan was to use the “extra” money to fund her lavish honeymoon and splurge on some high-end wedding accessories that weren’t part of the original budget.
When I confronted her, she admitted to exaggerating the financial strain to get more money from me and others. I was obviously furious. I feel like she took advantage of my generosity, and now I’m rethinking whether I should still help with the remaining wedding costs. She’s been begging me to reconsider, but I can’t get over the betrayal.
My family is divided—some think I’m being too harsh and should just overlook it, saying it’s her wedding and that it’s not nice to ruin things last minute. However, my friends and husband agree that she crossed a line.
I don’t want to be the villain in this story, but I also can’t shake the feeling that she needs to face the consequences of her actions. So, AITA for refusing to pay the remaining $5,000 for my sister’s wedding after discovering she lied about her finances?
Here are the top comments:
Ok_Design_705 says:
NTA. Your family is correct in saying its her wedding and its not nice to ruin things last minute. But, you are not the one ruining things, it's her lies and her leeching. Why should you deep into your savings when it's not your wedding?
Your savings have a purpose, and that does not include sponsoring a Fiji honeymoon. Also, divorce yourself from the attitude that she's 'little'. She is a grown adult. What is her future husband paying for if you are all paying for the wedding and honeymoon?
No_Cockroach4248 says:
Don’t give the remaining $5,000 and ask for the other $5,000 to be returned. Your sister lied to get extra money from her family. You don’t overlook lies, I would ask members of family who said to overlook the matter whether they actively teach their children or siblings to lie. NTA.
TIs-user says:
Why are you paying anything? Your sister should have planned a wedding with a budget she could afford or waited and saved up.
Charming_Ally says:
NTA. You are not the a%^&ole for refusing to pay the remaining $5,000 for your sister's wedding. She lied to you and took advantage of your generosity.
What do you think?