'AITA for refusing to reimburse my friend for a chair that broke under me?'
"AITA for refusing to reimburse my friend for a chair that broke under me?"
FiguringItOutThisWay writes:
I (F25) was at a friend’s house for a game night this past weekend with a group of about six. Everyone brought food and drinks and we were having a good time. About halfway through the night I got up to use the bathroom. When I came back, I saw that one of the girls had moved from a chair to my spot on the couch. This didn’t bother me since people move around in groups, so I just took the chair.
It was an antique wooden chair that sat a bit lower to the ground with added cushions. When I sat down, it immediately broke. I ended up on the ground with the seat under me and the arm frames falling to the side.
Everyone went quiet for a second before jumping up to help me. I wasn’t hurt, just very embarrassed. For context, I’m a bigger girl, about 260 pounds at 5 foot 7 inches. My friend (F27) was very kind about it in the moment.
She accepted my apologies and told me not to worry. Her boyfriend (M29) said that the chair had been his grandmother’s and had fallen apart before, but he was able to repair it at the time. I was ushered back to the couch and the night went on.
The next morning, I got a text from my friend saying the chair couldn’t be repaired. From her research, she estimated it would cost about $250 to replace, but said she’d let me know the exact amount once she found one. I was a bit surprised and asked why I would be expected to pay for a chair that was already faulty.
She replied that while the frame had come loose before, that wasn’t what happened this time. She sent pictures showing a bent support and two other broken supports. She said the chair broke under my weight and couldn’t be fixed, and since it was an antique from her boyfriend’s late grandmother, she wanted a replacement.
I responded that the chair was old and had a history of collapsing. If they wanted to preserve it, they shouldn’t have been letting people sit on it. I also said that $250 for a chair I sat on for one second seemed unreasonable.
At that point she seemed frustrated and said that she loves me, but I’m her “biggest friend” and that it wouldn’t have happened to anyone else. She told me: “It broke from your weight sitting down all at once, not because the frame was loose. I think it’s only fair you reimburse us for the chair since you’re responsible for breaking it.”
I still don’t know how to respond. I don’t want to pay for something I don’t feel was completely my fault. I also feel like she used the situation to shame me about my weight, which is frustrating. My friends are split.
Some say I should just pay and move on, even if it’s not fully my fault. One thinks it is my fault and I should cover it, while a few others think she’s wrong for asking and that I should continue to politely decline. AITA for refusing to pay?
Here are the responses to OP's predicament.
Big_Bookkeeper1678 says:
The person who moved from the chair to the couch broke it. You were the 'fall gal', literally. Do NOT pay. These people are using you to replace a chair that was already broken.
mvms says:
I am also a bigger person. I would in no circumstances sit in an antique chair. They are almost always fragile. YTA, I'm afraid.
catsaway9 says:
If I broke something at a friend's house, I'd offer to pay for it. If a friend broke something at my house, I'd decline their offer to pay. I'm not sure which is correct, so I'm not passing judgement on who's TA. I agree that they shouldn't have had it out where people could sit on it, especially since it had both sentimental and intrinsic value, and was not in good repair.
BustAMove_13 says:
NTA. Also, this is his chair from his Gran. That's why it means something, so how is replacing it going to work? A replacement won't have any meaning to him.