'AITA for not replying to my ex after he broke up with me?'

"AITA for not replying to my ex after he broke up with me?"

Ill-Breakfast-1879 writes:

I (29F) was broken up with by my ex (30M) about a month ago. He ended things because he said we were “incompatible.” Basically, I had a boundary that I was clear about from day one, and he told me he couldn’t commit to it anymore. He said there was no way to fix it unless one of us changed our core beliefs, and that he wouldn’t want that either. So I agreed.

He said he wanted to stay friends, but I told him no. I said it would blur the lines and probably just turn toxic. I told him I needed time to heal before even considering friendship in the future. He said he understood, and we have been in no contact since.

A few weeks later, he messaged me saying he hoped I was doing well. I didn’t reply. Before we broke up, I had already made a virtual birthday card for him, and since it was scheduled, I decided to let it send. He replied to that, thanked me for the thoughtful card, and jokingly said that I should reply to his earlier message. I still didn’t respond.

The next day, he emailed me saying, “I suppose you don’t want to talk. Fair enough.” Now I’m wondering, am I the bad one for not replying? I just feel like it’s too soon. I still miss him, and if I reply, it will only make things messy and harder to move on. Honestly, I don’t think we could ever get back together at this point. He has broken up with me twice already, and I can’t help but feel resentment over how easily he let me go.

If he really had something important to say, I feel like he would have said it already. Still, his “fair enough” hurt. I want to reply because we ended on good terms and we used to communicate so well, but I also don’t want to give the impression that I will always be available, even after he chose to end things. So, am I the bad one for staying silent?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

apaczkowski says:

Getting the card probably looked like an olive branch to him so he tried to contact you again. The "fair enough" comment made sense. You said NC, he tried and you shut it down, then you send a card. What's he supposed to think?

apoplexies says:

NTA, you have to do what's best for you and your healing. no is a full sentence. you're breaking your cycle and he's trying to pull you back into it. you are allowed to take all the time you need, and to stop communicating with anyone you don't want to talk to anymore.

Angelily-215 says:

Soft YTA for the card. You would be further TA if you respond to his email. I had to go NC with a partner once. Letting that person's birthday go by and not communicating made it more real than any breakup convo ever could have.

night_noche says:

YTA for not cancelling the scheduled card. That card is replying to his text by sending mixed signals.

What do you think?