'AITA for letting my son break my father's vase? I offered to pay for it and he said no!'
"AITA for telling my father to get over the vase my son broke?"
Inevitable-Fox7946 writes:
When I was a teenager, my father bought a large glass vase, which he filled with wine corks. For years, it stayed on top of a small table in the living room. My family visits him monthly for lunch. Last October, my son was running around my father's living room and accidentally knocked the table over, which caused the vase to fall and break.
I immediately apologized and offered to buy a new vase. My husband and I also cleaned everything up. My father declined my offer to replace it. At the time, he said he understood it was an accident and was just glad my son hadn't gotten hurt (he was two years old at the time, and there was a lot of glass on the floor).
During the next couple of months, I apologized and offered to pay for a new vase multiple times. My father continued saying it was fine. However, earlier this year, my father started talking about how much he loved the cork vase, and how expensive it had been back when he bought it. As the following months went by, his complaints began to escalate.
He'd make comments about the fact that my son broke the vase almost every time we came over. Occasionally, he'd also "joke" that we should plan our visits with longer notice so that he could hide his valuables from my kid.
Last week, he threw a party at his place, which we attended. A friend of his who hadn't visited in a while noticed the vase was gone and asked about it, to which my father replied that "my little sh^t" had broken it and I hadn't replaced it.
My husband was nearby and heard it. After the party, I confronted my father, and we fought. He said that he had the right to complain about the fact that my son had damaged his property. I told him that while he has the right to be upset, the fact that he declined my offer to buy him a new vase does not entitle him to complain about me not doing it.
He can either retract his forgiveness and work something out with me or get over the vase and stop blaming my toddler for the accident. I won't have him calling my son names over this. My father is still insisting I'm in the wrong here. AITA?
Here are the top comments:
RB1327 says:
NTA, but is this normal behaviour for your father? Does he have a history of name-calling or treating your child badly? Is "little sh%t" an extreme insult in his usual lexicon? Or some kind of weird term of affection? What do you think?
DenizenKay says:
The solution would be to buy him a vase for father's day, his birthday, Christmas every holiday buy him a vase in perpetuity. Make him so plentiful with vases he wishes he never sees another vase again. Problem solved. NTA.
Marine__0311 says:
NTA. FFS, your son was a toddler doing toddler things. Your dad should have toddler proofed the house. You offered to pay for a new vase, he declined, he can shut up about it. I always thought collecting and displaying wine corks was bizarre. Hey look at how much I drink everyone!
WombatBeans says:
NTA- Replace the vase anyway, and maybe he can come to your house for the monthly lunch visit from now on so his precious items won't be in danger. Or just stop the monthly lunch visits for awhile. If you tell someone it's fine, and not to worry about it, you don't get to keep bringing it up.
What do you think?