'AITA for refusing to see my twin sister because she took my ex's side in the breakup?'
"AITA for refusing to spend time with my twin sister because she took my ex's side?"
Alzexxin writes:
My ex-girlfriend (16F) broke up with me (16M) in March. We dated for two years. She ended things five hours before a planned date by saying she wanted someone else. I was upset that she waited until right before our date to tell me, but I didn’t try to change her mind. My mom always told me that if there’s someone else, let them go. It’s never fair when someone in a relationship has feelings for another person, so I listened to her advice.
My sister (twin, 16F) was friends with my ex, and we had been really close until then. But she kept asking me why we broke up and why I didn’t try to win her back. In May, she told me that my ex didn’t actually want us to break up and that there wasn’t someone else.
She just wanted me to chase her and fight for her. I said that was never going to happen and called it childish, which made my sister angry. Soon after, my ex told me she didn’t want us to break up and was upset that I didn’t try to win her back. I reminded her she had said she wanted someone else, and she told me I knew that wasn’t true. She said she just wanted me to fight for the relationship and be that kind of boyfriend.
In June, she actually started dating another guy. My sister kept telling me about them and saying it was my fault. I disagreed and mostly ignored her. After a few weeks of me not caring, she started calling me names like selfish, rude, and dumb.
She even said I was like one of Taylor Swift’s exes who couldn’t accept his girlfriend wanting more. I tried talking to her about it, but she was so firmly on my ex’s side it felt like she might as well have been dating her. I told her that, and she called me disgusting.
My sister still insults me every day over this. She’s still furious that I didn’t chase after a girl who broke up with me and pretended to like someone else just to make me fight for her. I even found out my ex wanted me to get into a fight with another guy to “win her,” and my sister said I should have done that.
My parents know about all of this and told her to stop, but they’re frustrated because I refuse to spend time with my sister or with the whole family. I told them I’m tired of dealing with her and don’t want to pretend we support each other when she only supports my ex.
My dad tried having a “man-to-man” talk with me, saying that one day we’ll only have each other. I told him they should have made sure she learned that too. He asked if I planned on never having a relationship with her again, and I said hopefully not, because she’ll just find ways to bully me or pick fights if I don’t do what she thinks I should.
My mom later asked if it hurt that my sister took my ex’s side, and I said yes. I told her there was nothing that would undo that. It’s not like this ended back in March, my sister is still torturing me months later. She even tried helping my ex make me jealous. My mom said she’d get her to stop, but I told her it might not work, since if it doesn’t happen at home, she’ll just do it at school. Mom said to let them try anyway.
My dad is still annoyed that I don’t spend time with my sister, while my mom understands that she really hurt my feelings. But even after Mom told her that, my sister brought up my ex’s feelings instead. My dad keeps saying that because I’m 85 minutes older, I should look out for my sister and spend time with her. He tells me I’ll regret being done with her one day. AITA?
Here are what people thought of OP's problems.
Usual-Canary-7764 says:
So instead of fixing their bully of a kid...they are attacking the victim of said bullying and think the victim should be fixing it? Man your parents suck as parents and as people. NTA.
OP responded:
My mom came around to see why I felt like I did. She's trying to do the fixing but I don't think she can fix this. My sister's clearly chosen a side and it wasn't mine.
False-Bandicoot-6813 says:
Just start calling her a bully to her and your family. When they keep pushing ask Dad why he’s allowing it. Ask him why it’s okay to be abused in your own home and then asking why your sister has no consequences. Then and only then will you discuss her behavior and see if anything changes.
FlashyWrongdoer7616 says:
NTA. Tell your sister that what your ex was trying to do is "classic toxic girlfriend behavior". Tell your dad not to blame the victim for the bullying. And to let his princess take responsibility for her own behavior.