'AITA for making my wife do my chores until she cried because she said it was easy?'
"AITAH for refusing to switch back chores with my wife until she apologized and begged."
StrawberryPretend264 writes:
My wife and I have been married for five years after dating for three. We also lived together for one year while we were dating/engaged. When we started living together, we both worked, and we shared all the chores equally.
A year after we got married, she got pregnant—not planned but an awesome accident. We decided to use our savings to buy a house and for her to work from home and be a stay-at-home mom.
I work out of town, and when I'm home, I take care of all the yard work and do a bunch of chores like laundry, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc. But obviously, when I'm gone, she does everything.
Because I know it will be asked, my schedule is 42 days of work and 21 days off. The other day, I had taken the kids out for the morning to give her a chance to relax. When we got home, the kids were wiped, so I gave them a bath and let them take a nap.
I didn't vacuum so I wouldn't wake them up. I did go around the house tidying up. I also made lunch for my wife and me. After lunch, she went to work, and I watched hockey.
When the kids got up, I fed them, and we watched hockey together. My wife came out of her office and said it must be nice that I do all the easy chores and she does everything. I don't know where this was coming from because when I'm home, I pretty much do everything. And my income is about 75% of our household income.
We actually ended up fighting about it, and I said that for the next two weeks, I would trade her chores. I would literally do all the chores completely by myself. In return, she had to do all the yard work. I have a riding mower and a snowblower, so she thinks it's just me driving around.
She agreed. She had forgotten that she ordered two cords of firewood to be delivered. She also saved money by not getting it stacked in our backyard but just dumped in our driveway. Normally, I would make a bunch of trips with my wheelbarrow and then stack the wood.
I do it quickly so the cars can get out of the garage. When the delivery came, she was busy. When she saw the wood, I was making dinner. She said she needed to go out, so I needed to move the wood. I pointed out that was yard work.
She went out, moved some to the backyard, and moved some out of the way so she could get out of the garage. When she got back, the wood was still waiting for her.
But the kids were clean and ready for supper. The kitchen was clean, and the laundry was done. She said she wanted to switch back, but I declined since it was raining, and I didn't want to stack firewood.
She did about a third of it before she gave up and came in. She apologized for her attitude and begged me to switch back. I asked her what chores she had left for me to do before switching. There was nothing—I had already done it all. She started crying, and I said I was just messing around. Then I went and stacked the wood after supper.
Her mother called me an a%&#ole for making her do hard work. I told her that we had traded, but she’s still pissed at me. I think my wife understands what I do now, but her mom still thinks I'm wrong. AITA?
Here are the top rated comments from OP's post.
neverfearcovid says:
NTA, who cares what her mom thinks?
anivarcam says:
NTA. And actually your wife is for involving her mother in your business.
ashatteredteacup says:
Looks like your spouse FAFO. Who asked MIL for her opinion? Lol. NTA, not by a long shot. She had a little taste of what you do and NOW realizes it’s not as easy as it seems.
Chores are rarely a very black and white 50/50. Especially after kids. Some days I pick up the slack, and on other days, my spouse does. It’s important to show appreciation for each other, whether it’s the big stuff or little things.
MossMyHeart says:
NTA, she made herself do it. When she begged to switch you should have said “it must be nice to do all the easy chores”