'AITA for telling my mom she better hope my sister's take care of her if she gets sick?'
"AITAH for telling my mom she better hope my sister's take care of her if she ever gets sick or physically disabled because I won't do a thing for her?"
My mom is a single mom. She has four of us. I'm a half brother to my three younger sisters, but my mom's relationship with their dad was complicated too. Mom had me (17) first. She doesn’t know my dad, and nobody’s listed on my birth certificate.
When I was one, she started dating my half sisters’ dad. She got pregnant with Grace, and then they broke up. When Grace was five, they got back together, got married, and had Arya and Alexis.
My mom never treated me the same as my sisters. I think she resented me for not being their dad’s child. He never cared for me either. He just ignored me while my mom would leave me at other people’s houses. If I went to a friend’s house, she would plan things with my sisters instead. Sometimes she’d leave me at parties for hours after they ended so she could do other things with her family.
She bought toys and candy for my sisters and left me out. Her husband always spent big on gifts for my sisters every Christmas and birthday. I never got anything like that. Mom used to give me clothes and said they were things I needed, so she was taking care of two things at once.
When my half sisters’ dad died, Mom treated me even worse. She’d yell at me just for existing. I mean that literally, sometimes she’d see me and start shouting. Other times she’d get mad that I wasn’t taking care of my sisters or doing more around the house.
I started babysitting for friends and neighbors, and she got angry that I had money but didn’t spend it on my sisters. I wouldn’t help her do some work on her husband’s grave once, and she got mad at me. She told me her husband was the greatest man alive, a good family man, and that she and my sisters were lucky to have him. I told her I wasn’t, and she said it wasn’t about me.
She’s always quick to make excuses for my sisters’ bad behavior, especially if they steal from me. Grace calls me names. She calls me a coward or weak, and Mom doesn’t care. My sisters can get kicked out of a birthday party or a friend’s house for their behavior, and she’ll excuse it. But if I breathe in a way that annoys her, she gets angry.
Mom was complaining recently about me working and not “providing for my family.” I got a part-time job last year and have kept it since. She told me my sisters would like a nice Christmas this year and said I should help pay for a pamper day and decorations.
I told her I wasn’t helping her ever again. I said she better hope my sisters take care of her if she ever gets sick or disabled because I won’t do a thing for her. She got so angry she smashed a vase and said I had no business speaking to my own mother like that. Am I the bad one here? And no, I don’t have any family to turn to. Her husband’s relatives are around, but I was never family to them.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
AdventurousTadpole3 says:
Get out ASAP. Cut ties, drop the rope, etc. Make a good life for yourself, and move on from these people.
Fun_Possession3299 says:
NTA. As soon as you can you leave. And you cut contact and no matter what you never go back. Life will be so much better without them. Trust me.
Open-Violinist1515 says:
Honestly, I don’t think you’re wrong for saying that. After years of neglect and mistreatment, it’s completely understandable that you’d feel no obligation to care for someone who never cared for you. You’ve been treated like an outsider your whole life, that’s not something you just forget because she’s family.
different-take4u says:
NTA, wanna have some fun? Try being really quiet. It will be unnerving I promise. They won’t know what you are thinking or plotting.