"AITA for not taking into account my brother's wishes for our wedding date?"
"AITA for not taking into account my brother's wishes for our wedding date?"
My partner (38F) and I (39M) booked a venue for our wedding party in one year and a half, on a weekend at the end of June 2027. My brother is complaining that it might not work for his kids because it could fall during exam periods or their internships. The kids will be 21, 19, and 17 in 2027.
The context: We live in Germany, we are French, and we want to celebrate our wedding in France. My brother and the rest of my family live in the north of France, but we chose a venue in the south of France, close to my partner's family.
The region is nicer than the north and has a better chance of sunny weather, which matters to us because we want a summer atmosphere. The venue has a pool, beach volleyball, a boules field and other outdoor activities. The drive from my brother's home to the venue is around nine hours.
For his kids, my brother would have preferred a date in July or August, but the venue prices increase by fifty percent during that period. He also suggested one of the long weekends in early May, but the weather risk is higher and it could be cold or rainy.
I would be sad if some of my nieces and nephews cannot make it because I love them, but I cannot help feeling annoyed at my brother for making me feel guilty about this. This is our big day, and we want to plan something that feels right for us without having to cater to everyone else's needs. We hoped our closest family would be happy for us instead of complaining. Or am I the one in the wrong for not taking his needs into consideration?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Snoqii says:
Nah you’re fine. End of June is not some wild choice, and planning around three different kids’ schedules two years out is impossible anyway. Your brother is stressing over hypotheticals. It’s your wedding, your vibe, your call. If they can make it, great. If not, that’s life.
RandomRamblings99 says:
NTA - it's your wedding. If they can't make it that's a shame, but you don't have to cater around them.
RHND2020 says:
NTA - it’s a year and a half in advance. They can plan accordingly. Your brother is being ridiculous.
SnooChipmunks770 says:
NTA. It's your wedding and unless he's willing to pay for the up charge, don't worry about it.