'AITA for refusing to take my friend’s Halloween pictures at a cemetery?'
"AITA for refusing to take my friend’s Halloween pictures at a cemetery?"
I (19F) do photography as a hobby. I have my own camera and equipment, and my friends usually ask me to take their pictures for holidays or fun little shoots. This year, our friend group is going trick-or-treating and then going to a party.
Our group is just four people: me, my boyfriend, and two of my friends who I’ll call A and B. We all thought it would be fun to take photos before we go trick-or-treating. A told me she found the perfect spot to match the aesthetic, a cemetery.
I immediately said I wasn’t comfortable with that. It’s not some old or abandoned place; it’s an active cemetery where people are still being buried and families still visit. I told A that I just didn’t feel right taking pictures there because it felt disrespectful and creepy.
I tried to be nice about it and said that if she really wanted to do it there, I could just wait in the car and my boyfriend could take the photos if he was fine with it. He immediately said no too, because he agreed that it would be disrespectful.
Then A said, completely serious, “At the one I found, they’re fertilizer by now.” My boyfriend tried to reason with her, saying, “What if that was your grandma’s grave? Would you want people disrespecting it like that?” and she just brushed it off.
Since then, things have been tense. A has been cold toward me, and B told me I should have just agreed to it because now I’m making it a big deal and causing drama. I really didn’t mean to make things awkward.
I just didn’t feel comfortable doing a photoshoot in a cemetery, especially when it would be my camera and name attached to the pictures. So, am I the bad one for refusing to take my friend’s Halloween photos at a cemetery and “causing drama” in my friend group?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Randomflower90 says:
Cemeteries were, and some still are, used as picnic areas. Many are beautifully designed and parklike. As long as you’re respectful and not walking on the graves or leaning on the stones, I don’t see a problem with taking pictures in a cemetery.
No-Dirt5073 says:
NTA. You set a boundary and your friend doesn’t seem to understand that, she should’ve backed off once you said no. A caused the drama not you.
mashleyd says:
Eh, cemeteries are a wild waste of space if they can’t be incorporated into our daily lives imo…I get being respectful and not denigrating anyone’s grave but death is very much a part of life so why shouldn’t we be allowed to interact with it as we want?
stroppo says:
NAH. I've taken pics in cemeteries since I was in my 20s. I don't see how it's disrespectful unless you're doing something weird at the gravesite. Granted social media didn't exist then. I shared the pics w/friends, I didn't post them on social media. So I can kind of see the OP's point too.