'AITA for asking my parents for their entire estate to be my sister's guardian?'
Ensuring your affairs are in order in case of tragedy is something every adult should do regardless of age. Deciding guardianship of your children, inheritors of assets, and any other business items you may have. While it's all stressful, it can get even more stressful when asking people to be your child's guardian and come in with conditions.
On a popular Reddit thread in the Am I the A**hole Subreddit, a woman is asked by her parents to be the guardian of her sister in the event of a tragic accident, and she comes back to her parents with some demands.
She writes:
I (F23) have been told I will be my sister's guardian if anything happens to my parents. She is 33 and has some disabilities. She is currently living in a group home. My parents have ensured that they have accessed every resource available for her to ensure she has as good a life as possible. The government pays for a good portion of the cost but not all.
We were visiting her this last weekend when they brought it up again. They are both reasonably healthy but had health scares in the previous few years. They once again said that I would be her guardian.
I have been giving this a fair bit of thought. I have two older brothers. They are both married and established in their careers. They would be better choices than I am. I want to see the world. I am lucky that my job can be done anywhere I can access the internet.
I brought it up when we went to dinner and said I had three ideas.
1. They made all three of us her guardians so we could split the responsibilities and duties.
2. They leave their entire estate to my sister in a trust that will oversee her care.
3. They leave me their entire estate with the proviso that I become her sole guardian and take full responsibility—Minus sentimental stuff for the rest of my family.
I thought that was fair since it's not like they are rich, and their estate will mainly consist of their house and the insurance policies they took out when they realized the long-term costs of care for my sister. They said I was trying to forget my responsibility to my sister and was greedy for trying to get everything.
I had one last suggestion, and they hated it. I said they were welcome to cut me completely out of their will. But that had to include guardianship of my sister. They could leave everything to her and my brothers, but that meant I would be completely free of responsibility for her care.My dad got furious, and my mom cried when I left.
My brothers called me to say I was an a**hole springing this on my parents. And that I was being greedy trying to keep them and their families from getting anything when our parents passed away. I asked them if they wanted 100% responsibility for our sister in return for the entire estate. I volunteered to sign away everything to them. Neither one took me up on the offer.
The internet will decide what OP will get.
Mogwai_92 says:
NTA (Not the A**hole). I love how your brothers are mad because you're calling out this sexist BS. So your parents want you to put your entire life on hold to care for your sister with no actual benefit?? Why would you do that? I mean, yes, it's not your sister's fault, but, it's also not your fault. Splitting guardianship three ways is fair.
LetsGetsThisPartyOn says:
NTA. So your brothers want a third of the estate but you do all the care! Because you’re the female! Stand your ground.
NTA. If your brothers think it's unfair for you to receive everything they should be jumping at the opportunity to get everything. That's the sign of a really good deal. If someone would take it from you. Your parents are kind of AHs for dumping all of this on a young woman.
Not that you couldn't handle it. Just that it's not fair when there are other family members that could help. You sound pretty grounded though. And willing to advocate for yourself. I hope you have a great life. Good luck with this situation.
OP, you're not wrong to demand some type of compensation to take care of your sister when your brothers don't have to.