In-laws moved in a day after the wedding, 'AITA for asking them to pay half of the bills?'
"AITA: in-Laws moved in 1 day after we got married?"
My husband and I (M&F in our 30s) got married in 2019 on the 27th day. His parents moved in with us on the 28th. My husband asked me to marry him after 3 years of dating, no big wedding or anything just went to the courthouse and got married on a Friday afternoon after work.
The same week he asked me to marry him, his parents were getting evicted from their 3rd apartment complex (unknown reasons). They have not told me about them getting evicted still to this day, I found out from another family member because they made the comment "since that y'all are living with them."
Of course, I had to correct that statement and said "excuse me, they are living with us, I have been living there 10 years prior to them moving in with us and 7 years prior to my husband moving in, so technically they are all living with me because my name is the only 1 on the lease. 1 day after we got married they moved in with us."
The same week my husband asked me to marry him. They called us over to come over because they wanted to talk to us. My husband's dad asked if they could move in with us for a couple of months, until they got back up on their feet.
Said they could pay half of the bills, I said "y'all just worry about getting back up on your feet." Well it's now been 4 years and they are still here.
They didn't start giving any money (not that any was expected) until my husband ended up having a major heart attack and was hospitalized for over 2 weeks. Then ended up having another heart attack and was hospitalized for 3 weeks. I stayed at the hospital with him at his bedside the entire time except 2 times to come home get myself some clothes and go back.
His sibling visited him 1 time, Aunt visited him 1 time, his parents came 1 time to each time he was admitted in there because they were on vacation trips. So of course, I came out and told them we have no income coming in that we will need help with paying the bills (electricity, water and rent equivalent to approximately $1400). So they paid all of it for 2 months.
After making sure my husband was ok, I went back to work. Of course, I didn't feel that it was right for only me to pay all the bills, so I told them that they would need to come up with half by the 10th.
Ever month since then their half is always later and later now it's closer to the end of month that they give it and we are always getting hit with a late fee of $100.
And my husband is back to work after being out for over 9 months. Now his parents, are asking to borrow money, knowing that we don't have it and the bills are due. But have the audacity to tell us (me and my husband) we need to get it together.
Sometimes, I feel like we only got married so that his parents would have a place to stay. We don't fight or argue, we had 1 fight 1 time over 6 years ago but have been inseparable ever since then and we never go to bed upset or angry at one another without us talking about what's on each other's minds.
So my questions are, AITA for asking them to pay half of the bills? AITA for telling my husband that we can not lend money out anymore to anyone (family or friends), if our bills are not paid first?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
nerd_is_a_verb said:
I mean this is a story of financial exploitation. You honestly probably will have an easier time not renewing the lease and moving out on your own than you will legally evicting them. Look up some legal tenant-landlord guides online for your jurisdiction. Good luck!
sunrisemisty said:
NTA and start the eviction process if they don't "get back on their feet" in say three months because they are leeches. Talk to your husband about this and tell him to grow a backbone regarding his parents.
JunebugRB said:
NTA of course. And yes, your husband definitely asked you to marry him because he knew his parents were getting evicted and wanted to move in. That right there is getting married under false pretenses since he would not have asked you otherwise. They moved in a day later.
That's all the proof you need. Are you being used? yes. Do you love him? Does he love you? His parents don't respect you and will continue to mooch until the day they die.
You could get divorced easily (no property to split or anything,) or just separate, move out when the lease is up and let him deal with his parents. Move in with family so they can't follow you there and save up to get a 1 br. apartment in a place with lots of stairs and no elevator so they won't try to follow you, lol. Good luck.
Justlookingthanks12 said:
NTA. I would recommend asking your landlord if they have any other suitable accommodations. If they have another good place, tell your landlord that you, just you, would like to sign a lease for it. Hire a divorce lawyer. Then tell your husband and his parents that you will be moving out next month.
Ladyughsalot1 said:
NTA your husband appears to have swindled you and he’s part of this situation in which you are taken advantage of. Get them out. They have 2 months. Look up legal eviction letters for your area.
superwholockian62 said:
NTA. you need to sit them down and tell them that their half is due on the 5th of the month. Every day after that is an extra late fee of $X/day. If they do not pay by the 15th they will be evicted. And then stick to that They are taking complete advantage of your generosity and you need to put your foot down with them or it will continue.