My husband (30M) and I (27F) have been married for a little over a year now, but have together for over 3. He is an only child, which has brought up a couple of issues along the way, but nothing we haven’t been able to resolve.
When we got married, we moved out of state due to my husband being in grad school and a job offer I got. Unfortunately, life hit us with a curve ball, and the office I was working at closed. My husband was close to being done with grad school and we decided to move back home.
My in-laws volunteered to help us with the move back (driving the truck, packing, all of it). They are retired and have the time, so we figured we’d take the help. They stayed with us for close to two weeks, where we paid for everything.
We made the move and a week after we get settled in, I get a bill from my MIL for all the expenses they incurred in for helping us move...I was very upset. My husband wasn’t even fazed. I asked him what the reasoning for the bill was and he said “they’re retired and on a fixed income, so these expenses weren’t in their budget.”
I agreed to pay them what they were asking for, but told my husband I am never asking them for help ever again. I told him we didn’t ask for them to come help, they just volunteered, yet they’re charging me for their gas, hotel for the drive back and some meals. He says I’m overreacting. AITAH?
NTA. You were also in a situation where you needed to be mindful of your budget. If it had been discussed ahead of time, you could have simply said “Thanks very much but we can’t afford to cover these expenses. We’ll be taking care of moving on our own.” Or budgeted for their expenses.
NTA. I wouldn’t ever ask them for help again either. I hope that they at least helped enough that it wasn’t a waste of your hard earned money. If you have children or pets that they watch for you, will you get a care bill from them?
Like where does this end? They also should have said ahead of time what they expected their costs to be. OR, since it sounds like your husband expected this, he should have given you a heads up at least.
NTA - I would never ask for help again, I’d also not accept their help either. Also, I wouldn’t pay for that stuff, they can take you to court to and have the judge enforce the contract and or verbal agreement. Oh there isn’t one.
NTA. That is an outrageous thing for them to do. Your husband is used to losing that battle but he’s wrong for telling you that you are overreacting. It sounds like maybe he had a conversation about the cost with his mom that we might be missing some details on?
NTA - If you have kids, will they charge to babysit?
NTA you don’t offer anyone anything and then expect compensation at least without a proper discussion. That’s just rude.