'AITA for introducing my wife to my family, even though I knew they would disapprove?'
"AITA for bringing my wife to meet my family, even though I knew they would disapprove?"
Before we get into whether or not I'm the arsehole, I need to give you some context. I (42M) met Christine(44F) three years ago after I moved abroad. I'm originally from Wales, happily single. I wasn't exactly a catch personality-wise, arrogant, proud, and admittedly difficult. I knew it.
Christine didn't strike me as someone who wanted attention. A few years older, quiet, unassuming. We met in a bookshop most ridiculous way. Days later, I ran into her again in a coffee shop. Another misunderstanding, another argument. She thought I was arrogant (accurate), and I thought she was dismissive.
Then, we discovered she lived close. The turning point came when my car battery died and she, this woman who'd been giving me nothing but grief, produced jumper cables from her tiny car and had me back on the road in five minutes.
After that, we saw more of each other at the coffee shop, started talking properly. I discovered she had studied CS, could fix routers with her eyes shut, and had more hobbies than I could list: gaming, to MA. She was introverted but warm, witty, and capable of being both lazy and driven. And she had this honest smile that disarmed me.
Slowly, I fell for her. She did too. We dated for nearly three years, survived arguments and flaws, and eventually, I realised she was my kind of odd, and I was hers. We married in her country, had a small but lovely ceremony, and it felt right.
Now here's where the actual story begins.
For our honeymoon, we went to Germany (where she grew up), then to Wales so she could meet my family. My family are old money, cold, and a bit arrogant. My sister Emily, who runs the estate, didn't attend our wedding. I think she worried I'd suddenly want a claim on the land, though I couldn't care less. Christine and I are comfortable, and she even owns her own home.
From the moment we arrived, Emily was hostile. She greeted us in black, "mourning her brother" (me). Christine, in her usual dry humour, asked why we hadn't been told about the "tragic news."
That set the tone for the whole visit. Emily tried to pick fights, arranged a tea party where Christine was picked at by relatives (and a few of my old crushes), and kept making digs about money. Christine handled it calmly and with wit, but it was exhausting.
The worst Emily told Christine to her face that she'd only married me for money. Christine laughed and said she didn't care about money, her only "red flag" was that I looked like O.Bloom. When Emily kept pressing, Christine snapped: told her to take all the money and land and shove it...
Emily lost it. Later, she told me the whole mess was my fault. We argued, words were said, and for the first time I realised how poisoned she was by money. Meanwhile, my parents were just happy to see me again, thanks to Christine.
So, am I really the arrogant arse my sister swears I am? AITA for introducing her to my family, knowing they would disapprove?
This is what people had to say to OP:
SunshinePrincess21 said:
Probably, but apparently not the biggest ‘arrogant arse‘ in the family.
OP responded:
True, true, my family has a few.
Linori123 said:
Nope, she's just pissed off that her brother came back with a partner. I can't decide if it is because she couldn't control you and your wife or whether she feels she will lose money due to your marriage, but it is about control in some way. Best to just ignore her and her flying monkeys.
OP responded:
I've been away from Wales for nearly 20 years, so there wasn't much she could control, really. That said, it’s true, I never showed up expecting anything or asking for favours. But as you mentioned, we’ve already moved on, and you're right, the best thing now is simply to ignore her. Still, I never quite imagined she’d be like that. Anyway, cheers, and thanks.
Teddybear722 said:
You made an AH move by bringing your bride to meet dragon lady withOUT warning you bride. Your sister is TA. A huge, flaming AH.
OP, make up with your wife, sat bye bye to your Welsh family, send cards to your parents. Maybe once you & Christine settle into married life, you can ask your parents to come visit. Just an idea. Also, tell Emily to go pound sand. She is an unhinged, delusional AH.
quirkygeekgirl79 said:
Your sister needs a big kick in reality's arse, honestly I don't understand people with money thinking everyone is a gold digger. And so what if she is - you love each other and have a happy life together. NTA Your sister is jealous you're happy.
OP responded:
Thanks, mate... That she does. I still can't believe I am related to her.
Scooter1116 said:
Is Emily married? Is her spouse in it for they money?
OP responded:
Yes, my sister’s been married for nearly 20 years now. She has two sons, the eldest is 19. As for Michle, her husband, it wasn’t exactly a love story as such... more that he was the son of one of my mum’s friends. They’d known each other for years and eventually decided to get married.
Their family’s decent, and they’ve done a great job raising the kids. Michle himself is a kind-hearted man. My sister... well, she has her moments, but I’ve never seen her quite like this before.
No-Grass4965 said:
OP is dear ole sis jealous that you found your special person and do not need the family’s approval or wealth. Sister is hateful, be glad your wife handled the situation well and didn’t load level you for putting her in such a toxic situation.
Sounds like your parents are lovely and deserve to be invited to your home when possible. As for your wife, it appears you won the lottery and that the both of you can be very happy together.
OP responded:
You’re very kind. I must say, I was lucky, Christine is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. And to be fair, she’s lucky too… she got me, after all.
But what happened with my sister is still weighing on me. We grew up together, and even though I was away for years, we still kept in touch and spoke often. I always knew she could be difficult... much like myself, really, but for her to say those things… well, I didn’t expect that. Anyway, thank you for the support. I really did need it.