Introvert turns down boyfriend's marriage proposal, 'I felt MORTIFIED.' AITA?

"AITA for turning down my boyfriend’s marriage proposal?"

My boyfriend (27M) and I (29F) have been dating for 4 years and I am definitely at a point where I’m ready to marry him and start a family. We’ve talked the future many times and I’ve told him on numerous occasions that I find private proposals to be more intimate.

I am extremely introverted and do not like being the center of attention. Anyways…last saturday was my 2nd cousins wedding. We are not very close but it was a big wedding so most of the family, even distant, was invited. Everything was going great, the reception was beautiful, had some good drinks and chats.

It was time for the dinner and as soon as everyone is seated all of a sudden my boyfriend starts tapping his knife on the glass and I’m instantly confused. Once he gets everyone’s attention, he begins a speech about ME. Im not stupid and kinda assumed where it was going so I kept nodding no to him and was quietly telling him to stop but he continued.

He got down on one knee and proposed to me. My cousin looked distraught, her husband looked furious, my face turned bright red and I didn’t say a word. Luckily everyone just returned to doing their own thing but I felt mortified. I left the hall without trying to draw any attention, and he followed me and asked me what was going on.

I told him this was the exact opposite of what I’ve told him I wanted and he humiliated me in front of my family. He thinks I humiliated HIM by not saying anything. My mom and brother, as well as his sister all feel he was out of line, but his mom thinks I disrespected him.

My cousin and her husband weren’t too upset, thank god. She just wished he would’ve asked permission first, but she understood that this was obviously not something I knew. AITA for turning down an unexpected proposal AT a wedding?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

ForwardPlenty said:

NTA. First, you never hijack someone else's celebration for a proposal, whether it is a wedding reception, birthday dinner, backyard BBQ, it is just rude. Second you have told him that a public proposal is not what you wanted at all.

He chose to ignore that. What other big things will he ignore in the future. Third, knowing that you were embarrassed, he accused you of embarrassing him. Not sure where this relationship goes from here, but you need to have that discussion.

TraditionOver198 said:

Nta and what an idiot, never propose at someone’s wedding never announce baby never this takes from the wedding party’s day and should be avoided.

PetalLogic said:

You’re NTA for honoring your own boundaries he knew you hated public proposals and went ahead anyway, putting you on the spot in front of everyone, so it was completely reasonable to stay silent rather than humiliate yourself to save his pride.

ProfessorDistinct835 said:

NTA, but I think you need to understand why he specifically chose to propose in a way that you told him you didn't want. And why he continued when you told him to stop.

And the wild inappropriate behavior of doing this at someone else's wedding without their permission. In the end, whether you marry him is obviously up to you but he owes you and your cousin and her husband a fulsome apology.

PhoenixVivi said:

NTA - You NEVER propose at a wedding. That's such an ahole move to do.

Gloomy-Increase-8726 said:

NTA. Never, never make a wedding about anyone but the bride and groom. It’s thoughtless and tacky. Of course his mom thinks you’re disrespectful. She raised him to not see a problem with stuff like this. Sorry your proposal went sideways OP...

StringCheeseMacrame said:

NTA. Your boyfriend showed you who he is. He’s not the kind of guy that you want.

DescriptionFew6118 said:

Nta. You should never do this at someone else’s wedding, unless the bride and groom pre-approved it.