'AITA for acting 'low class' at a buffet in front of my rich friend?'

'AITA for my behaviour at a buffet?'

Suspicious-Pussy writes:

Hi everyone, I (28F) recently reconnected with a friend (27F) from high school. Let's name her "Brenna". We were really close (like, think inseparable), but the distance after we moved away inevitably caused our friendship to dwindle.

I recently moved to her city with my husband, and it was like nothing had changed. After a few one-on-one lunches, she wanted to introduce me to some of her other friends from uni. We decided on an upscale buffet at a hotel.

I think it's relevant to include that the university she went to was known for its extremely wealthy and privileged students. Coming from an upper-middle-class background, I wasn't really sure what to expect or what we'd have to connect on, but she assured me it'd be okay and that everyone was really "down to earth."

I got along with everyone really well. The conversations were engaging, and we all bounced off each other really nicely with the banter. She booked it on a Monday afternoon so it'd be (relatively) less crowded, so none of us would have trouble communicating.

But here is where I think everything went wrong: There was a short queue behind me (three people, all in our party, one of whom included Brenna) while I was trying to scoop a stew for myself. It was a minestrone, and I had accidentally grabbed a scoopful of vegetables instead of soup.

So on my second scoop, I decided to do the opposite so that I could get a balance of both (my first scoop hardly contained any soup). I stopped after two scoops and turned to see Brenna staring at me with an appalled expression. I was really puzzled, but I kept on walking back to our table so I wasn't blocking anyone's way, and I figured I should ask her about it later.

The rest of the lunch, I noticed Brenna acting really strange. She was limiting her interactions with me, avoiding eye contact with me, etc. Another friend (28M) even asked her about this, and she dismissed the question (she said, "I don't know what you're talking about").

After we all said goodbye, I got a series of texts from Brenna saying how disgustingly "low class" I acted in front of her friends. I asked her what she meant, and she referred to how I selectively scooped the minestrone in front of her and how "it's extremely poor etiquette to pick and choose portions at a buffet."

I tried explaining to her it was an accident and I hadn't intentionally tried to do what she was explaining, but she said I was still "holding up the line." I apologized for that, and she hasn't responded since.

I apologized to the two other people that were waiting behind me, but they didn't know what I was talking about. I explained to them what Brenna saw, and they said she's being a "pompous a%@" and told me to forget about it.

Now I have no idea what to feel because I initially felt extremely guilty when Brenna confronted me, but hearing these two say it's no big deal is really making me wonder. I would love some other opinions. Thanks.

Here are the top comments:

Emma3190 says:

Ooooft, superiority complex much? NTA. It's a buffet not a Michelin star restaurant. And as someone who has a partner that ran a 6 star hotel in Dubai, I can tell you that there is no 'buffet etiquette'. You get what you want and sit down, it's the entire point of being 'self serve'. Even if she didn't approve of you mannerisms, her vocabulary is very telling.

You can talk to a friend about behaviour without bringing the classes in to it. I'm going to make a somewhat educated guess and assume no one else cared. Your friend went out of her way to find fault and make you feel inferior over a very small scenario. Tell her to stop being a human donut and take her head out of her a%@.

ohnosandpeople says:

So....you scooped soup like a poor person. You hear how ridiculous that sounds? Brenna is a pompous snob- simple as that. NTA.

Famous_Specialist_44 says:

I thought you were going to describe building a food tower of the luxury items...but no you took two scoops of soup. NTA. This isn't a buffet etiquette thing, or a social class thing, or a money thing - Brenna is just being silly.

AffectionateHand2206 says:

Picking and choosing specific pieces of food out of a dish would have been bad manners, but that's not what you did. It seems like Brenna has a certain image of you in her head and has (consciously or subconsciously) been waiting for you to confirm it. NTA.

What do you think?