Sister convinces parents to keep 'attention seeking' adopted sister at boarding school. AITA?
"AITA for getting my parents to keep my adopted sister at a boarding school she hates because she's stubborn and attention seeking?"
Fit_Morning2050
Last night, my parents drove us up to visit my sister, who goes to boarding school. My parents were discussing whether or not Annette could come stay in our home again next year. Annette had brought a powerpoint and notes arguing that she should be brought home and homeschooled with us.
Our parents were close to agreeing when I interjected, suggesting it would be best for her to stay there since she’s already attended for two years and, anyway, it’ll be best for her to finish maturing there before she comes back home. I managed to convince them, and they told her she would finish out her schooling there.
She looked heartbroken, and I sort of felt guilty, but mainly I just felt relaxed. She’s home for most of the summer, and it’s annoying. I had just been pointedly reminded of that with how eager/nervous she was yesterday and did not want to have to put up with that year round.
Yeah, it’s nice to have an extra pair of hands to help out around the house or to help me with my projects, and she’s friendly and easygoing, but she’s always trying to get our parent’s attention or our attention or showing off in a blatant bid for praise.
She sulks when we go to post-adoption events or do the things our parents have set up to make sure I and Mary feel loved and comfortable. She hates being left alone for too long, even though there are obviously going to be things Annette’s not a part of since she’s the only bio kid and she’s gone more than half the year.
Now, I have to say, she was really nice to have around when we were first adopted. She did actively try to make us feel welcome and appreciated, and apparently told our parents to use the money they had saved her for college to make sure we could all be adopted at once. That’s ruined by the fact that she’s tried to bring that up in arguments before like I or our parents owe her something, though.
She constantly complains about being at boarding school - she even throws tantrums and asks why she has to go and we don’t. We’re adopted. I don’t think you can legally send a foster kid to boarding school, and I’m not sure why you’d send an adopted kid who didn’t want to go.
Our parents have us home schooled by tutors so we can always turn to them for support, and send Annette to a boarding school to get a more advanced education and hopefully learn some discipline. Anyway, for all her faults she’s a smart kid, and she goes to a really good school.
Maybe she’s just insecure because she thinks our parents like me and Mary better, so she desperately seeks attention, which annoys them and makes like me and Mary better.
I can totally see her getting into a vicious cycle like that and not handling it well. Look: I love my sister. I’m sure she’ll be a great guy once she grows up. I just don’t want to be around her until she does, you know?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
CompetitiveStretch50
YTA. Ah... is your sister okay? Because she sounds lonely and desperate for attention. Maybe because she's been shoved off to boarding school while the rest of your family stays at home. Why would she come home after graduation? I don't usually suggest NC, but in this case it seems like the rest of you - Mary excluded - started it.
jq7925
YTA. You're forcing her to be treated as less than you. She's going to hate you forever if you don't STOP.
Foreign-Hope-2569
You are the most horrible, entitled, mean kid I have ever heard of. Why in the world would your parents pay any attention to your nonesense? YTA. YTA. YTA. And your parents YTA.
anonymom135
YTA and WHAT ON EARTH??? Your poor sister is homesick and just wants to be with the rest of the family since none of you have to go to boarding school. But you had to sabotage her request because you think she's annoying to be around and she wants some of her parents' attention? This poor girl. You're being unbelievably selfish.
Lunar-Eclipse0204
YTA - why should you get a say in where your sister lives? Yeah, it’s nice to have an extra pair of hands to help out around the house or to help me with my projects, - Also she doesn't have to help you with anything.
Bullwinkles_progeny
YTA, and a horrid sister. Your parents can send you to boarding school - they are your parents adopted means they are your parents. You and Jane get to stay home while they ship their biological child away. You interject to ensure she can’t come home. You are not just being an AH - you’re also cruel. It will not surprise me one bit if Annette never speaks to any of you again.
Global_Look2821
So, your adoptive parents are letting you and your adopted sister live at home and their biological child is shipped off to boarding school w your conniving to make it so.
After that child went out of her way to welcome you, when she could have sabotaged you like you’re doing to her now. That is some kind of fractured fairy tale. If this is real… you are building yourself up for a truly horrendous karmic backlash- and you’d deserve every bit of it.
You and the parents are vying to see who wins top prize for YTA. But it’s actually a three-way tie. You need to hear this: real love has no measure. There’s always room for more. But maybe your insecurity is such that you feel you can’t take the chance.
Well, the jokes on you then- you’re sentencing yourself to a life of insecurity and distrust and half-measures. And if you don’t turn this around- it will all be completely deserved. YTA 100x.