Stepmom tells grieving kids, 'your dad left this house to me; get out.' AITA?
"AITA for telling my step-kids that the house is mine, your father left it to me and you are never getting it"
Natural-Ad8162
I’m using step-kids to make it clearer. My husband passed away, I married him when his kids were all adults. They have never been nice to me since they see my husband replacing his late wife.
To be honest, it has been a nightmare festival with them. They have never respected that I am married to him. Any wedding invites or events they made it clear I was not wanted. Agruement after argument.
A few years ago, I told him to stop fighting with them about letting me come to events. When he goes out I’ll get a spa or something. This whole situation made him very angry at his kids and, when he passed, everything went to me. This included the kids' childhood home.
Every since they have been all over me about selling it to one of the kids. They want to keep the home in the family. They have made it very clear they don’t think I am family even if I am their father's widow.
I got another call about it. I had finally had enough and told them that the house is mine, that your father left it to his widow and you are never getting it. That called me an a$$h0l3. I want to see if I am being a b-word about it since I have bias.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Future_Direction5174
Personally I would sell it to them at a FAIR MARKET price. This is slightly less than what you sell it for normally, but you don’t have to cover estate agents commission (2-3%). That way you can buy another property which suits your new life as a widow. But NTA if you don’t sell it to them.
The OP responded here:
To be honest, I will probably just live in it until I start to pass. I really love that home.
Future_Direction5174
If you love it, and have happy memories of your life with your husband, then keep it and enjoy it.
Winter-Sky-123
NTA. First of all, one of the most the common inheritance spouses leave their widow or widower is their house, so I don't see why they are so surprised by it. Their mother died, and they couldn't accept that their father fell in love again, so they decided to treat you horribly in an attempt to break up your marriage.
It sounds like in the end, your husband was so fed up with their behaviour, that he believed they weren't entitled to any inheritance from him. Your husband wanted to leave everything to you, because unlike his children you treated him with love and respect.
Mkheir01
I'll never understand kids like this. My parents divorced and neither remarried but if they started dating or got married, I'd be so happy. I find this odd coming from adult children, like what their father was supposed to dress in black and be miserable the rest of his life?
ETA: My mom told me that after the divorce (I was 3-4) I told her we can just go get another dad at the grocery store.
ThrowReddi13
NTA - his adult kids waged emotional warfare on you both to try and prevent him from moving on after his first wife passed away. What type of children want to prevent their widowed father from finding happiness again? Very selfish ones.
And clearly your late husband felt his kids did not deserve to inherit based on their behavior. Let them deal with the consequences - they made their beds. Block them. Have an attorney send a cease and desist letter. They need to get on with their lives and leave you alone.
ISassBack
I love this answer. Block them and have a lawyer write them a cease and desist letter, and have him threaten them with a restraining order. If it suits you, sell the house and start a new life far away from these miserable people.
deefop
Without a shitload more context, there's really no way to know. Your side of the story is probably that you're a perfectly pleasant and reasonable person who married their father out of love, and I bet their side of the story is wholly different.
Ratso27
This. I'm always a little suspicious of AITA's where one side hates the other, even though they did nothing wrong at all. Parents getting remarried can be weird, and it's certainly an adjustment, but they were adults when this happened, and it's been 14 years. I have a hard time believing that they would still have this much resentment towards her unless there is more to the story.
BulbasaurRanch
I think the ultimate a$$h0l3 here is your late husband for excluding his children. I’ll go with NTA in regards to the home. You’ve been married 14 years and it’s your home now.
The OP again responded:
Natural-Ad8162
You know what is sad, if they actually treated me with any respect they probably would have much more from their father. I would be much more willing to sell or just hand in over. But their unkindness has made me cold to them. I actually was excited to met them, my adult kids loved my late husband but they actually were willing to let someone in new in.
walnutwithteeth
NTA. Your husband/their father made the choice as to what to do with his property. He willed it to you. Why should you sell your home for the last 14 years? I would get some legal advice to make sure there aren't any loopholes when it comes to inheritance. That aside, do what you wish.