"AITA if I kick my sister out of my house?"

My sister’s (27f) husband died 8 months ago. She and my two nieces had to move out of their place because she wasn’t gonna be able to keep up with rent (she was a stay at home mom) and started temporarily staying at different friends houses. I (31m) eventually offered to let her come live with my wife and I while she got back on her feet.

It was fine the first couple of months. Obviously she was grieving and dealing with my nieces grieving the loss of their dad. But now 6 months in, she’s becoming difficult to live with.

All day, she’ll kick her feet up and watch tv while her daughters run around the house making a mess. My wife is now 7 months pregnant with our 1st child and because she’s at home, she’s been the one having to clean up after them, making sure they eat etc.

I talked to my sister many times about this, but she’d always defend herself saying my wife was exaggerating and “anyways, this is good practice for when your kid gets here.” We’d argue over it until she promised to help out. Nothing has improved and even worse, she started to say inappropriate things to my wife.

Like implying the baby probably isn’t mine because she’s seen how hot our neighbor is and would constantly ask my wife if he’s the real father. Our pregnancy was an unplanned yet happy surprise so anytime my wife complained about how tired she was or how much her ankles ached, my sister would always comment that we should’ve terminated.

The final nail in the coffin was the other night when my sister said something about my wife’s weight that made her cry. My wife’s belly has really grown and it’s made her extremely self conscious. When my sister saw her, she said “Jesus are you sure you’re not having triplets??” and then laughed it off.

When my wife left crying, her response was saying my wife was so dramatic and she doesn’t know how I put up with her crying all the time. The issue with my sister is ever since we were little, she’s always had this habit of saying whatever comes to mind no matter how rude or insensitive it is and to her, she acts like they’re jokes. She never cared if it hurt anyone’s feelings.

I am so sick of her and it’s putting a lot of stress on my wife. I want to do what’s best for my wife and kick my sister out, but with how things are right now, I don’t know where she can go. And I feel it wouldn’t be fair to my nieces since this isn’t their fault. Yes, she lost her husband and she’s not used to having to take care of herself, let alone her family, but I have my wife and our baby to think about.

I really want her out of the house by the end of the week, I just don’t know how bad that would make me as her older brother to make her leave with no other home to go to. WIBTA if I kicked her out asap?

What do you think? WIBTA? This is what top commenters had to say:

[deleted] said:

Give her 30 days instead of a week, you don't want them to end up somewhere shitty because they didn't have time to look. Get her out. She needs to go. Too much disrespect and ungrateful behavior.

DadNoisesAllDay said:

NTA. She fucking sucks dude. Tell her that she has 60 days until you put her ass on the street. Just her. Not the nieces. Time for your sister to adult.

medadvice1867 said:

NTA- I would give her a two weeks notice just because of the fact she has kids. She can use those two weeks to find a new place. I would have snapped when she said you should have ab*rted the baby. That crossed the line.

Are your parents or her widow’s parents able to take her in? I would also tell her she needs to start looking for a job. You are beyond generous for letting her live there for so long. Also, If she comes to you later and says she’s starving, give her food directly, not money. You’ve given her the warnings. Just be firm on the two weeks.

coco------- said:

NTA I’m sorry to say this but your sister needs to go or get her hotel for a few days because all that stress may causes complications to your wife and I understand she lost her husband but that is no way to treat anybody and what will you do if she still there when your wife is due don’t you want time to bond with your baby

He later shared this update:

Thank you everyone for all your help and support. Today has really been an eventful day. My wife and I stayed up late last night talking about this at great length forming a plan that included giving my sister a 30 day notice. As expected, my sister did not take this well. We tried our best to explain the reasons for our decision and our plan to help set up a place for her and the girls.

She refused to listen to anything we had to say and called up a friend of hers to take them in by tonight. I tried to offer to let the girls stay in the meantime but she said she doesn’t want her family anywhere they’re not welcome and she hopes I’m happy turning my back on her.

It’s been 2 hrs since they left and I’ve been sending several messages to my sister so that she is aware that we still plan to help them out with some expenses to help her get by for the girls’ sake.

And also to have proof that she left voluntarily. Again, thank you so much everyone! It’s been an emotional rollercoaster, but hopefully soon my wife and I can put this whole thing behind us and focus on bringing our baby boy into the world. Stay safe.