'AITA for kicking my best man out of my wedding minutes before the ceremony?' 'Enjoy your last days.'
"AITA for kicking my best man out of my wedding minutes before the ceremony?"
I (29M) just got married to the love of my life, Sarah (27F), and while it was the happiest day of my life, it almost got ruined—by my (now ex) best friend and best man, Jake (30M). Jake and I have been best friends since high school. He was like a brother to me. So, of course, I made him my best man.
Biggest mistake of my life. It started with small, annoying comments. Every time wedding planning came up, Jake would roll his eyes and say things like, “Bro, you sure you wanna do this? She’s gonna have you on a leash,” or “Enjoy your last days of freedom, man. Soon, it’s just "'yes, dear' for the rest of your life.”
At first, I laughed it off. But then, he started talking about Sarah—saying she was “too serious,” “too controlling,” and that she “wasn’t the fun type.” Which is complete BS—Sarah is the most supportive, chill person ever. I should’ve cut him off then, but I thought, “Maybe he’s just acting out because he’s scared of losing his drinking buddy.”
I was so, so wrong. Jake planned my bachelor party, and I gave him one rule: NO STRIPPERS. Not because Sarah wouldn’t “allow” it (she literally didn’t care), but because I don’t like that stuff. It’s just not my vibe. So, of course, what does Jake do? He books not one, not two, but FOUR strippers.
The worst part? He paid one of them extra to try and sit on my lap. When I pushed her away and said I wasn’t interested, he burst out laughing and yelled, “Oh my god, you’re already whipped! Bro, you’re done for.” I was fuming. I left my own party early. The next morning, he texted me: “Damn, man. You really ARE a married guy already. RIP to your balls.”
At that point, I knew something was off. Fast forward to the wedding day. Everything was going smoothly… until 30 minutes before the ceremony. I was in the groom’s suite, nervous but happy, when my brother stormed in, looking like he was about to punch someone. He threw his phone at me and said, “Read this. Right. Now.” It was a group chat—a group chat Jake made with my groomsmen.
And in it, Jake had sent these texts: “$100 says he backs out.” “Anyone wanna bet? Dude is making the biggest mistake of his life.” “If he actually goes through with it, I give it a year before she takes half his sh$%.” “Can’t believe my boy is going out like this. RIP.” My hands were shaking.
I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. This wasn’t a joke. This was my supposed best friend betting against my marriage on my WEDDING DAY. I saw red. I stormed out, found Jake, and said: “Get the f*** out.” He laughed and said, “Dude, chill. It’s just a joke.” I got in his face and said, “No. You don’t get to stand next to me at the altar and pretend to support me while you’re literally betting on my marriage failing.
You’re done. Get. Out.” His face changed. He got pissed. “Wow, really? Over some texts? You’ve seriously turned into the biggest p***y since getting with her.” That was it. My brother and another groomsman grabbed him and dragged his butt out. I walked back into the suite, took a deep breath, and married the love of my life.
And guess what? It was PERFECT. Sarah didn’t find out until after the honeymoon. When I showed her the texts, she just looked at me, smiled, and said, “That’s why I married you.”
Now, mutual friends are saying I overreacted and should’ve just let it go. Even Jake texted me: “Wow, dude. Can’t believe you’d throw away 15 years of friendship over this. Hope it was worth it.” And you know what? It was. So…am I the ahole?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
No-Shock-2055 said:
NTA. Sounds like your friend was willing to throw away a 15 year friendship over being a massive douchecanoe. I'm glad you and Sarah had a great wedding and get to start your marriage without crappy friends.
smileyface548 said:
NTA. 15 yrs you expect your best friend to respect your decisions. He’s either jealous or obsessed with you.
I think Jake has a thing for you. NTA.
FROG123076 said:
NTA, this boy was not your friend. Anyone who backs him up can pound sand right along with him. Who needs enemies with friends like him. I am guess he is jealous that you found someone and he hasn't, cause I can't imagine any decent woman would want to deal with a POS like him.
He showed you who he really is, sorry it took 15 years for the mask to slip, but you and the love of your life are much better off without him.
Affectionate-Point18 said:
NTA. You're a good man. And thorough.
gringaellie said:
NTA. Jake's an immature AH stuck in frat-boy mentality.Well done for outgrowing him.
Builder-Technical said:
You didn't throw anything away, he did. NTA.