"AITA for kicking my future BIL out of my wedding for what he did to my kids?"

My sister met her fiance (Tim) 2 years ago. We only meet at my parents house as I live in the next town with my now wife and my 2 step-kids (4-6). Tim doesn't like kids he's made it clear how much he's uncomfortable being around them. Every time I brought my kids to my parents house.

Tim'd start acting out. He tried to in-directly ban the kids from visiting their grandparents house. Dad was firm but Tim never stopped trying to exclude my kids from family events.

Wife & I wanted to have our wedding at our house. a small celebration. Tim asked if there were gonna be kids at the wedding. My kids were the only ones at the wedding since we didn't have many guests. He tried to talk us out-of involving my kids in the wedding and make it an adult event but I told him to keep his thoughts to himself. My kids were excited to be part of the wedding.

Tim and my sister arrived late. The kids were with us the entire time. Tim looked visibly upset Til he suddenly offered to take the kids to bathroom so they wash up before eating. minutes later he came back, I asked were the kids were. He said he took them to their bedroom cause they wanted to play with their toys I thought it was out of character for them.

I wondered why they suddenly didn't want to eat since they said they were hungry. I wanted to check on them but got busy with my aunt's ankle-injury. My younger sister came telling us the kids' bedroom's door was locked and the kids were inside.

My wife and I were in shock We looked for the key. I asked my sister if she was the one who locked them in. But Tim said he did it. Saying he was worried they'd wander around un-supervised and wanted to make sure they were safe since everyone was busy.

I took the key and got the kids out . My daughter told me Tim said I didn't want them to go outside and that I'd punish them if they did. They're my kids now of course I want them to be in my wedding. My wife was speechless. I lost it on Tim. I called him cruel and selfish for lying and doing this to my kids trying to exclude them. I told him to get out.

My sister defended him and was crying and calling me offensive names. I kicked her out too. My parents argued saying what I did was unnecessary since Tim was just trying to help. They tried to get my wife to get involved before my sister decide to cut me out completely for what I did.

I argued that they were unreasonable to think I was being bitter and explained why I kicked him out but they still blamed me for my extreme reaction since Tim had good intentions.

My wife was quiet all the time probably wondering what the hell type of family she just married into. I don't blame her. My parents insist I talk to my sister and Tim and everyone apologizes since this seemed to be a major misunderstanding. I refused but they kept repeating the same thing.

My parents say this must be a misunderstanding since Tim doesn't know how to deal with kids. However they went quiet after they heard what my daughter said. My sister claimed that it's his way of getting kids to behave.

What do you think? AITA? (Do I even have to ask?) Commenters weighed in and they did not hold back:

Joxem13 said:

Hold on, this guy came to YOUR house, got YOUR kids and locked them in their room? Do we even need to say it op? NTA. Ban this man from your house, ban you sister if necessary and to whoever tells you you are overreacting tell them that you are being calm enough.

This is beyond cruel, that was dangerous and that man is dangerous to have around. Ask your sister if this is the kind of man she wants to have around when married, god forbid she ever gets pregnant by accident.

penguinplus7 said:

NTA. What if one of your kids had gotten injured while being locked in there and you had no idea? He has no right to lock your children away regardless of his discomfort around kids.

Don't apologise, you did nothing wrong. If he dislikes kids, that doesn't mean children are banned from being around him. If he was that uncomfortable, he should have left. Your response was appropriate and both he and your sister owe you, your wife and your kids an apology.

AmethysstFire said:

Oh HELL no! You are NTA. I'm trying to wrap my head around how a guy who hates kids is "trying to do the right thing" by lying to two young children and locking them into their bedroom. That just doesn't compute. Do not, ever, apologize for kicking Tim and your sister out of your house, and wedding, over this. The health, safety, and well being of your wife and kids are the top priority.

And [deleted] called out OP, saying:

I’m kind of in shock that you let a professed child hater take your kids alone and then didn’t check on them immediately when you realized they weren’t around. NTA for cutting him out but come on, do better.

OP later shared this brief update to the post:

My wife recieved an e-mail from Tim apologizing since he couldn't reach out to me because I blocked him. My wife's being pressured by my parents now asking us to be a little more graceful since Tim apologized but my sister hasn't That's why my parents want us to talk to her. I'm deciding to go no contact for the time being because of this and also-more importantly to focus on my wife and kids.

Then he shared another update in the comments:

My relationship with my sister has been damaged but not only because of Tim's actions but also because of how she keeps defending him and saying hurtful things about my kids as well. She's seen how her fiance's been trying to control the family and yet she claims that I'm being unfair and resentful when the kids aren't even my own.

This made me take a step back and disengage because of the constant fights. There's no reasoning with them. I only let them come to the wedding because of my parents. But this was a mistake I'll always regret making.