Man evicts brother and his GF, 'they disrespected my house rules and constantly caused drama with my son’s mother.' AITA?
"AITA for kicking my brother and his girlfriend out after they disrespected my house rules and constantly caused drama with my son’s mother?"
Alright y’all, need some outside perspective because my family’s making me feel like the bad guy. I (30M) moved into a new place a few months back. It’s nothing fancy, but it’s a good, stable spot for me and my 6-year-old son.
Around that time, my younger brother Tyrell (24M) and his girlfriend Amber (22F) got evicted and asked if they could crash with me for a while. I didn’t really want to, but they had nowhere else, and I figured it’d just be temporary.
At first, it was fine. But after about a month, they started getting way too comfortable. Ignoring house rules I set — like no random people over when I’m not home, no smoking in the house, and being respectful when my son is there.
Instead? They had people in and out while I was at work, left the place trashed, blasted music while my son was sleeping, and I caught Amber smoking in the bathroom twice.
The biggest issue, though, was how they disrespected my son’s mother. Now — me and my baby moms aren’t together, but we’re cool. She picks up our son on weekends and sometimes drops him off at the house.
Well, Amber took it upon herself to start making little slick comments whenever my son’s mom came by. Petty, unnecessary stuff like, “oh, you actually showed up this time” or “didn’t know you still cared”.
My son’s mom kept it classy, but she told me it made her uncomfortable, and I agreed it was out of pocket. I confronted them about everything and Tyrell tried to downplay it like “she was just joking” and told me to stop being sensitive. That was the last straw for me.
I gave them 30 days to find somewhere else. Of course, now I’m the bad guy. My mom’s blowing up my phone saying “family sticks together” and “they just need guidance.” Amber’s been posting subliminals on Facebook about “fake people who pretend to help you then turn their back.”
But I don’t care. My house, my rules. I’m raising a son and I’m not about to let two grown adults bring chaos into my home. So… AITA for kicking them out after they disrespected my house, my rules, and my son’s mother?
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
"My mom’s blowing up my phone saying 'family sticks together' and 'they just need guidance.'"
Your mom is family, right? And who better to provide guidance than the mother of one of the problems? Why doesn't she offer them a home?
Superb-Razzmatazz-49 (OP)
BINGO , and I would never disrespect my mother but I most definitely asked her why she didn’t offer them a place to stay if you knew they were homeless and we are so called “family.”
And she raised Tyrell. Classic case of NIMBYism, only willing to speak up when she doesn't want any skin in the game. You're protecting your son and showing respect to his mother as a co-parent, that's the right thing to do.
Superb-Razzmatazz-49 (OP)
My mother never steps up when it’s time to help him because she already knows.
She just gets mad at us for not helping him.
Your brother & his girlfriend are showing no respect for you, your son, your home, or your son's mother. The "only joking" garbage is ALWAYS ridiculous. Tell anyone giving you a hard time that they're welcome to take the two of them into their home. You are absolutely NTA - and 30 days' notice was generous.
Superb-Razzmatazz-49 (OP)
that’s what I said because why are you “joking” with my sons mom. she does no harm to no one and is very respectful. but I tried to help them and crazy thing is everybody is saying this and that about me but won’t take them in themselves.
I'd be asking for the truth of why they were evicted. If they treat your house like this, it's not a stretch to assume they were treating their previous place with similar lack of care and their landlord finally took action.
Superb-Razzmatazz-49 (OP)
Definitely because they didn’t respect their landlord. I already knew why and still helped them but never again.
NTA. The family is likely overreacting because they’ll have to step up next and it’s easier for them if they stay there. Any of these offenses would be a good reason to kick them out, or simply the fact you didn’t want them living with you in the first place. You stepped to help them and they disrespected every aspect of the help. Consequences, actions, etc.
NTA. I’d send them to your mom’s house since she wants to get involved. Tell them to gtfo immediately and go to her. One month to find another place is generous after their behavior. They're not teenagers, these are grown people. They can figure it out, but never will if you enable them.
I don't think you crossed the line. As a father, it sounds like you are focused on the right thing. Having a stable home and setting up a good environment for your son. Your brother and his partner are grown adults. Not your responsibility. I think you did your part by giving them the opportunity. They unfortunately took advantage and now have to learn a hard lesson.
NTA—-and good for you for standing on business! Anyone who is giving you a hard time about your boundaries can open their doors to them. Amber saying anything to your ex feels childish on her part and speaks volumes about how she would treat your brother in the same situation.
He should be aware. And your brother co-signing is crazy.
Nothing that you said should be ignored, it’s the perfect storm of give an inch people will take a mile.