Wedding turns sour when groom ejects brother over 'hurtful prank' targeting bride’s insecurities. AITA? + UPDATE
"AITA for kicking my brother out of my wedding for making my fiancée cry?"
Mounirab96
My wedding was this past weekend, and I’m honestly still in shock over what happened. My fiancée (now wife) and I have been together for 7 years. We’ve gone through everything together—moving in, job losses, her battle with anxiety, everything. So our wedding day was supposed to be our day to finally celebrate all that, right? Well, it was—until my brother decided to ruin it.
For context, my brother (30M) has always had a weird thing about “pranks.” He calls them jokes, but honestly, they’ve always been mean-spirited and embarrassing. Growing up, I’d laugh it off or get mad, and he'd say I was being too sensitive. But this time, it went way too far.
During our reception, he got up to give a speech. I thought it would be nice—maybe he'd say something heartfelt for once. But no. Instead, he pulls out a freaking slideshow of "hilarious" photos of my wife—old ones from her Instagram where she’s crying, looking vulnerable, or just super unflattering.
And he starts making jokes about her weight fluctuations, saying how she used to "look like a twig" when we first started dating and now she’s "more well-fed." My wife’s face turned white. She started crying quietly, and my brother? He just kept going, laughing like he was the funniest guy on the planet. The whole room was dead silent.
I saw red. I stood up, walked right over to him, and told him to leave—right in the middle of his “speech.” I said he was done, and I didn't care if he was my brother. My wife was humiliated.
He tried to brush it off, saying I was ruining the fun and that “everyone else thought it was funny.” No one laughed. Not one person. He refused to leave at first, so I told security to get him out. He stormed out, calling me a "f'ing drama queen" on the way out.
Now, my parents are furious with me for embarrassing my brother at "my own wedding." They think I overreacted, that I should have let it slide because "he didn’t mean it." My mom even said my wife was overreacting too and that this was all just part of his “sense of humor.”
My wife hasn’t stopped crying since. I told my family we're taking a break from them. But now my phone is blowing up with texts from my mom and dad, saying I’ve fractured the family and ruined my own wedding over a joke. I get that I blew up, but I couldn’t stand seeing my wife so hurt. Did I go too far, AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Ladyboss_Pudding
NTA. You protected your wife from a cruel attack. Your brother's actions were unacceptable and your family's response is enabling his bad behavior. You did the right thing.
Acceptable-Wind-7332
Yeah, this. Your brother really embarrassed your wife in what was meant to be a special day to celebrate you both. It sounds like he's got a lot of growing up to do and you are the first one to tell him so.
Your wife is now a part of your family and your brother needs to realise that he has seriously messed up. Your parents have probably been enabling your brother too. He needs to man up and apologise. NTA.
musicmammy
And now everyone knows what a complete AH the brother is...someone has just got to tell the parents they've backed the wrong child.
Dry_Sandwich_860
Your parents are the reason your brother has problems now. You need to tell them that your brother has alienated you and no one else at the wedding seemed impressed with him.
By refusing to teach him how to behave when he was nasty as a child and by making excuses for him, they have isolated him. Your brother ruined your wedding and your parents are supporting him and continuing to hound you about it. That should tell you all you need to know.
prettygoldyyy
NTA, your brother sounds like a selfish and cruel person who has disguised his bullying as humor for too long. It's time people start holding him accountable for his actions. Good on you for standing up for your wife and not tolerating his toxic behavior.
You did the right thing, and your family should support you and your wife instead of enabling your brother's hurtful actions. Congrats on your wedding, and I hope your wife feels better soon.
pitiplus
NTA. Your brother is the one who fractured the family not you. Honestly go LC or NC with them. You have your own family now. Focus on that.
grwl78
Totally. Block them all. Your focus should be on your wife and building your future with her. And there’s a lot to heal from here. She should come first and that they can’t even give you space… nah. NTA.
mafiamiaaa
NTA. Your brother has a history of "joking" in a mean-spirited way, and he crossed the line at your wedding. Your wife's feelings and well-being should be more important to your family than your brother's "sense of humor." Kudos to you for standing up for your wife and not allowing your brother to continue humiliating her. You did the right thing.
youmustb3jokn
Nta. He ruined the wedding by being cruel and using the excuse that it was a joke. Your parents obviously are either dumb or have facilitated this poor behavior in him so much that they are delusional enough to think it’s ok to call a bride fat and humiliate her at a wedding. Then have the audacity to try and guilt you for standing up for your wife who was crying at her own wedding.
They are toxic. You seem like you have overcome these dysfunctional interactions and become enough of a human being to know it was unacceptable. I would keep my brother and my parents away from the wife. They will bully her and belittle her until she is so beaten down like the bullies they are.
Two weeks later, the OP returned with an update.
Mounirab96
Hey everyone, I posted here a little while ago about what went down at my wedding, and I just wanted to say thank you for all your comments and support. It’s been a rough week, but I figured I'd update everyone on what’s happened since then.
After kicking my brother out, I stuck to my word and told my family we were taking a break. I blocked my brother on everything, and my wife and I decided to focus on each other for the week, just trying to recapture some of the joy that was stolen from us on our big day. We went on a mini-honeymoon to a cabin we’d rented and tried to shut out the drama for a bit.
However, as soon as we got back, my parents showed up unannounced. They claimed they just wanted to “talk it out,” but the second they sat down, it was clear they were there to defend my brother.
They kept repeating that I "overreacted" and that he was just trying to be funny. My mom even said, "You know how your brother is. He didn't mean to hurt anyone." I told them that whether he meant it or not, he did hurt my wife, and that’s not something I can just brush off.
My dad then hit me with, “Family is family. You don’t turn your back on blood,” and I honestly lost it. I told them that my family is the one I chose to build with my wife, and if they can't respect her, then they don't get to be a part of our lives. They left in a huff, saying that I was being manipulated and that my wife was “too sensitive.”
The day after that, my brother tried reaching out—through a mutual cousin this time—saying he "didn't mean any harm" and that he's willing to “forgive me” if I apologize for embarrassing him in front of everyone. This absolutely floored me. I realized in that moment that he still doesn’t see what he did as wrong. I haven’t responded, and I don’t plan to.
My wife and I have started couples therapy—not because there’s anything wrong between us but because I want to make sure that she feels supported and knows that I'm fully on her side. It’s been helping her process what happened, and I think it’s helping me realize just how toxic my brother's behavior has always been.
We’ve decided to have a small, private vow renewal next year—just us and a few close friends—to reclaim what that day was supposed to be for us. In the meantime, we’re focusing on our future together and cutting out anyone who doesn’t respect us as a couple.
So yeah, maybe I did fracture my family, but if my brother’s “jokes” are more important to them than my wife’s happiness, then I’m honestly okay with that. Thank you again to everyone who reached out—it meant more than you know.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's update:
faithful_neighbors
NTA as we said in your previous post, screw your family. You deserve a good life with ur wife OP.
VegaKenai
Thanks for the update! It sounds like you've made some tough but necessary choices to prioritize your wife's feelings and your marriage. It's clear that your brother's behavior was hurtful, and it’s great to see you standing firm in your boundaries.
Focusing on your relationship and seeking therapy is a healthy step, and a vow renewal sounds like a beautiful way to reclaim your special day. It’s important to surround yourselves with people who support and respect your relationship. Best of luck as you continue this journey!
JellicoAlpha_3_1
Mom, Dad, Brother...here is a bill for our wedding and the reception. Until I am reimbursed in full, I am going no contact with all 3 of you. And for the record, this is my decision. My wife wants to let all this go and move on. But I do not. You all have made excuses for brother's shitty immature behavior his entire life and now it's cost you one of your children.
The 3 of you will pay for the wedding brother ruined...even if you have to mortgage your house and work until you are 80 to do it, or this will be the last time any of you see or hear from me. NTA. Holding them financially responsible doesn't mean you forgive them. it just gives you the ability to have wedding 2.0 without them.