'AITA for kicking a family member of my house after she demanded I hide my baby?'

"AITA for kicking a family member of my house after she demanded I hide my baby?"

My husband, 46M, and I, 35F, have a 4-month-old baby. He is our first child, so it has been a great blessing for both of us. Their family is quite close, but my husband, I'll call him Isaac, always needs some space from them. He is there for them when they need him (with money and other things), but he always preferred to live a little far from them (he used to live in Canada).

Due to differences circumstances, we ended up moving 20 minutes away by car from his family. It was okay because we weren’t living next door to them or in the same neighborhood, I have nothing against his family in fact I respect his parents a lot and love his mom very much, I think we are in a good place now after some situations but I wouldn’t want to live in the neighborhood they live in.

It’s a very religious neighborhood, I lived there for many years and I just don’t feel like it’s my place at this point in our lives, my husband feels the same way so we were happy living in another neighborhood and with a lot more privacy, things were going well… until a few months ago one of my husband’s nephews we’ll call him Jack had a problem and he had to leave his apartment.

My husband’s father asked us if we could let him live in our downstairs apartment for two months… those two months turned into 4, then 6… and now its turned into 8 months, they have been living in an apartment that at market rate would be around $2000 dollars for free and enjoying my garden and other amenities of our house.

I haven't been happy with this situation because one of the reasons we don't live in the same neighborhood as his family is because we want privacy. Which, while we do live in two separate houses, has been made difficult because Jake's family, or Jake's wife's (I'll call her Beth) family, is always hanging around, even in my backyard.

I've been extremely patient, but like I said before, I recently had a baby and some things got out of hand. Beth and I were pregnant around the same time, well... the short story is, she lost her baby around 4 months (after a long time trying to get pregnant) and I can't imagine how painful that must have been.

The first few months, I tried not to talk about my pregnancy in front of her, even if some family members asked me things, I tried to avoid her and then I found out that she said something like "Why didn't my baby survive and OP's baby did... even though Op's baby is a baby conceived in sin..."

This really bothered me. I can understand that this comes from a deep pain, but it feels disgusting to talk about a baby like that, and it feels like she's practically suggesting that if any baby had to die, it had to be mine. I just find it disgusting, and I confronted her. I told her that it was unacceptable to say something like that.

I dealt with infertility for years in my first marriage and never spoke about someone else's baby like that. And if she had any problems about how my child was conceived (I got pregnant shortly before I marry, which it could be a little of a problem in our culture and community), she could find another place to live, but I wasn't going to allow her to talk about my child like that living under my roof.

She denied having said any of this, and I had no proof other than the word of another family member. At that point, she tried to calm me down and tell me that everything was fine, that the pregnancy hormones might be making me uneasy, that I should rest, and that we would talk later.

Months later and my baby is born. He is the best thing that ever happened to me and everything seems fine, then Jack comes over to my house and asks if he can talk to us, basically he tells my husband that it’s really hard for Beth to see me holding a baby after what she’s going through because she’s still grieving, he asked if I could keep my son inside my house.

Basically no taking the baby out onto the porch, the backyard, the basement, my balcony, or any area of the property where she might see me with the baby… My first reaction was an incredulous laugh. I said, so you’re asking me to hide my own son in my own house?

He seemed a little embarrassed at this point and said that he really wouldn’t ask that if he wasn’t watching his wife suffer, my husband said that was unacceptable and that he can’t ask me that, he also said that this is our son’s house too, he is a member of our family not something we have to hide. He said that was fine and left after that.

A couple weeks after that I was in the garden with the baby and she came out of the apartment, came to the garden and said to me, “I thought my husband had spoken to you.” I said, “About what?” And she replied, “It’s not right for you to be here right now.” I replied, “How could it be that it’s not right for me to be sitting in the garden?” She said I knew the answer but that I was being petty.

I told her I couldn’t think of anything more petty than demanding a mother hide her baby in her own home, that besides being petty, she was very entitled. From there, things escalated. We argued, and I told her I wanted her to leave because it had become too displeasing and akward to live near her. I talked to my husband about it.

He says I shouldn’t have kicked them out without first talking to him about how to handle it, but he understands where Im coming from and he also believes it’s time for them to find their own place. She’s been seeking support from some family members, saying that my baby is a constant reminder of the baby she lost and that I’m heartless for telling her to leave now because they’re going through pain.

Family members have remained neutral, and my mother-in-law told her that she can’t expect me to stay out of the yard or porch when Im. with the baby, but they also think I shouldn't have told her to leave.

(Except for my mother in law who thinks that we alredy helped them a lot and now is time for them to look for their own place) So Reddit, aita for kicking them out after she demanded I hide my baby? The way that I see it is that their demands are totally out of place but maybe I shuld be more tolerant because the pain that they went through…

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

SoftwareMaintenance said:

This chick is disturbed when she sees the baby. All the more reason for her to GTFO. They should have left a long time ago. Husband had the chance to deal with this, as it is his side of the family. Finally op had to take long overdue action. No chance of op being an AH.

Waste_Watch7800 said:

nah thats not even a question family comes first meaning your baby comes first

Same_Cover_9884 said:

NTA. The audacity of that woman. They need to leave.

And Realistic-Animator-3 said:

NTA. Her emotions are not yours to manage. You are not shoving your baby down her throat, you are simply living in your property. Start charging them market rent or insist they move out

And Fantastic_Fee_1291 said:

Why you let them stay as long as you have is beyond me. The minute the husband came to you and asked that you keep your baby inside is the moment you should have told him to find another place to live. I’m curious as to what the husband told his wife that would make her think it was ok to confront you about being outside in your yard with your baby.

I don’t care what anyone says, they would have to go. They are living rent free on someone else and have the nerve to try to totally take over. File for EVICTION now.