'AITA For Kicking my Mother out of my Wedding After She Brought my Ex as Her Plus One?'
"AITA For Kicking my Mother out of my Wedding After She Brought my Ex as Her Plus One?"
ThrowRAOpposite_Poet
I (M30) started seeing June (F29) about 3 years ago. My mother has never really liked June for a couple reasons, the main one being the fact that June didn't let my mom push her around. She kept firm boundaries which I really admired and she even helped me do the same.
My mom hated this, calling June controlling and wishing I hadn't broken up with my previous girlfriend Margo, who my mom loved. I was with Margo for 5 years and it was horrible. Margo was very controlling and manipulative and always guilted me into things I wasn't comfortable with.
But thanks to support from friends and my sister, I was able to leave her. It was hard, but I had help and my life has improved since. My mom was very upset with this but relationships didn't last so she eventually let it go until I started dating June about a year later.
When June and I announced our engagement my mom didn't freak out, which was weird considering my mom hates June. She was very calm but I just took it as she was finally accepting this and so I didn't think much of it.
Everything was fine and smooth up until the wedding. I gave both my parents plus one’s to the wedding since they both remarried after I graduated college. So I’m not close to their spouses but gave them the option of inviting them.
We had a very small ceremony. Just immediate family and a few close friends. After the ceremony, me and June went to take pictures and then met back with everyone we invited to the reception which was pretty big.
When we got there, My sister and June’s best friend/maid of honor ran up to us in a panic. Before they even said anything I spotted it. My mom was at the table with my dad, my dad's wife, and Margo.
I wanted to freak but June kept me calm. I walked over, pulled them both aside, and simply told them to leave. My mom tried to explain Margo and I are soulmates and June is just in the way of true love but I wasn't hearing it. I didn't care. Just got my best friends to escort them out and I returned to the party where luckily, after a few moments, I was able to relax and enjoy it.
I really didn't think this would all turn into something huge but me and June just got back from our honeymoon where we didn't have our phones, and seeing mine I saw hundreds of texts from multiple family members.
They all think I was an asshole for kicking my mom out of her only son's wedding. For the record, she was there for the ceremony but apparently was really upset she was kicked from the reception. Here's a summary of my family's thoughts.
Some think I could have just ignored Margo and didn't have to “freak out.” A few others, including my dad, think I should have just kicked Margo and let my mom stay but after the stunt my mom pulled, I didn't want her there either.
I’m starting to second-guess myself since everyone is really mad. June and my sister are on my side but I fear my dad may be right and I should have just let my mom stay and made Margo leave. So I’ve come to Reddit, AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Kaynico
NTA.
"My wife and I will not be starting our marriage life together tolerating disrespect and sabotage. Mom's actions were beyond reprehensible, disgusting, and more than deserving of being removed from the celebration of my beautiful wife and I committing our lives to each other.
You are more than welcome to allow toxic people to destroy your happy moments, but this is not something I will tolerate for myself or my wife."
Apprehensive_War9612
NTA. Kicking Margo out would not have been enough. (Side note, who tf goes to their ex’s wedding with his mom? psycho.) you mother actively tried to sabotage your wedding.
She brought an abusive ex & then said your new wife was in the way. That’s appalling. She deserved to be kicked out and your family should acknowledge that she clearly didn’t want to be there. She wanted to hurt you and your wife.
CinderellaGoneCrazy
NTA. Why would you have let your mum stay? She was disrespectful to both you and your wife and your wedding. She said mean things about your wife on your wedding day AT the wedding.She would've complained the rest of the reception about you kicking Margo out and ruined it for both you and your wife. So again, why?? Why are you in contact with her at all actually?
AwesomeAsian
NTA - Your wedding, your rules. If there’s one day you get to be selfish with your partner, it’s this day. And what your mom did was manipulative (and f Margo for going along with it). Maybe your mom and Margo should start dating each other since they have things in common like being controlling and manipulative.
janneholly
NTA. Your mom crossed a line by inviting your ex, Margo, to your wedding reception without permission. This was disrespectful to both you and your wife, and you had every right to ask them both to leave.
Your wedding day was about you and June, and your mom’s actions undermined that. While some family members may be upset, you were right to protect your boundaries and the peace on your special day.
SadFlatworm1436
NTA your Mom, kicked herself out. Your mother loved Margo cos she is your mother, a bully and controlling. Enjoy your new marriage and your firm boundaries. Tell your Dad that your mother made the choice to leave her husband at home to create drama and that’s not a loving mother at work so she doesn’t get to enjoy the wedding, NTA.