I (F30) told a friend (F38) that her and her three kids (M15,F13,F11) could stay with me for two weeks while she went to DSS to file for rental assistance. I had already found multiple apartments that would work for her. I have two children of my own (F8,M2).
Her children sleep all day and yell at mine for being noisy in their own home in the middle of the day. She has decided that it is unfair for her children to be bound to the rules of my house...
...which includes that there is to be no roughhousing or video games played outside my children's bedrooms once I have put them to bed and no children allowed in my bedroom.
The only exception made to this rule is from 8:30 pm -8 am. As the youngest was sleeping in my room with her mom. Well two weeks turned into over a month. She never went to DSS and spent most of her time outside drinking alcohol and smoking (activities not permitted in my house).
I am also in a subsidized housing program and can't have people living with me which she is fully aware of and why the agreement was two weeks (the maximum length of time I'm allowed to have house guests per my program).
So we are at a point where we are jeopardizing mine and my children's housing because she didn't hold up her end of the deal. I told her that she couldn't stay here anymore and that it was not negotiable.
So now I'm the bad guy in the eyes of our mutual friend (F40) and my sister (F28) because now she "has to couch hop" with her kids because she won't go to a shelter even though that would get her help faster.
SushiGuacDNA said:
NTA. In this case, your friend is being a complete ahole. Let me list the ways: (1) You offered two weeks and she stayed a month. (2) She decides that the rules of your house don't apply to her family?
(3) She never even applied for the rental assistance she was supposed to. (4) Smoking! (5) Going beyond the maximum you are allowed to have a guest for, this risking getting you kicked out.
So you do a good deed and she's got five ahole points, but your mutual friend and sister are giving you a hard time? They can invite her to live with them if they feel so bad about it.
SomeoneYouDontKnow70 said:
NTA. If your mutual friend and sister think that this is so bad, then they can host this freeloader. It's not your fault that your irresponsible friend has to couch hop. A 38 year old woman should be able to provide for her own children without forcing the responsibility on a "friend" who is 10 years younger.
Brother_Professor said:
NTA...your mutual friend can take her. She's already demonstrated what kind of friend she is, and it's not good.
Tranqup said:
NTA. Unfortunately, it is almost never a good idea to let anyone move in with you "temporarily," "until they get back on their feet," or "until they get their finances straightened out," or whatever reason they need a place to land but don't have the money to take care of it themselves.
I have lost count of how many times someone posts online about letting someone move in with them, only to have their kindness abused and then the person (or persons) don't want to leave and sometimes the OP has to go through a lengthy and costly eviction process.
I hope your ex-friend and her kids move out without any further problem. And I hope you learned a valuable lesson - do not let anyone move in with you, especially since you are living in a rental where you could face eviction for not following the lease agreement. Do not do this to yourself!
StevieFromWork said:
NTA. You do a good deed and your ‘friend’ takes full advantage of you! If people have a problem with you asking them to leave, just tell them THEY can take in your friend and her kids.