'AITA for kicking a woman out of my dinner party after what she said about my pregnancy?'

"AITA for kicking my best friend's girlfriend out during a dinner party because of something she said?"

I (19F) am 5 months pregnant. It was not planned at all but my fiancé, Barry (21M) and I decided to go ahead with the pregnancy after considering our options for a long time. My best friend, Theo (20M) has been nothing but supportive and helpful. Theo got into a pretty serious relationship a few months ago but I have never met her so I suggested we have a dinner party and invite some other friends as well.

Ava (23F) seemed very sweet at first but then I noticed that she seemed cold towards me. I thought it was just me but Barry asked me about it as well. I thought she may just be having a hard time surrounded by new people so I didn't make a big deal out of it.

We all sat down to have dinner and Ava asked me how my pregnancy was going. I thanked her for asking and said it was alright. I steered the conversation to another topic just because I didn't want that to be the topic of the night. It was alright from then onwards for a while. Ava seemed to get along well with everyone.

I was feeling a bit tired so I excused myself and went to get a cold drink. When I came back my friends were just making sure I was okay and asked me if we should wrap up the party early and I said no. Ava made a comment about pregnancy being hard and I agreed with her saying it's the hardest thing ever.

She then said "No offense but why didn't you guys consider terminating the pregnancy?" while laughing. I felt like that was such an awkward thing to ask...no one really answered but then Barry said it just wasn't something we could do. He asked everyone if they needed more drinks, in an attempt to change the topic but Ava continued.

She said (something along the lines of) "You guys know you're ruining your life right like yikes" still laughing.. So I told her, a bit rudely, to please not say things like this since I was feeling uncomfortable. She replied saying she was brutally honest and that people liked that about her. I was thinking, I just met this girl.

I just couldn't deal with this for the rest of the night so I told her to "please get out and maybe learn some manners" and I guess she didn't expect me to say it but she did get out. Theo was so angry at me, he said I was ruining him and just left with her. After a few awkward moments our other friends supported my decision and we had a good night.

Yesterday Theo messaged me (for the first time after the incident) and told me that Ava was refusing to speak to him and he said "thanks I hope you're happy". Idk why that specific sentence just made me feel guilty. I believe I may have been the @$$hole, she was a new member of the group and maybe I was overreacting and she didn't mean to insult me. Barry thinks otherwise but he may be biased so.

Edited to clarify: 1) Ava is not child free (according to what Theo told me 2) I’m pro choice and have no problems with other women's choices to end a pregnancy, it’s just something Barry and I don’t personally agree with In our lives……

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

ImStealingTheTowels said:

"She replied saying she was brutally honest and that people liked that about her." Narrator: nobody likes that about her.

I cannot stand people who use "I'm just being honest!" as an excuse to be rude and insulting to others. Ava sounds like a nasty piece of work and you weren't wrong to kick her out; her comment and subsequent doubling-down were outrageously out of line.

Theo is also completely wrong to be mad at you and I think some distance from him might not go amiss. However, unless he is known to do this kind of thing himself, I'd keep an eye on him. The fact that he doesn't appear to acknowledge how awful Ava was to you and that she's taking this out on him is raising a few red flags for me - I think it's possible that the relationship might be abusive. NTA.

Fun_Measurement_5873 said:

NTA she doesn't know you from Adam so who does she thinks she is to bring that up in conversation? It's disgusting really 🙈 In addition to this it's sounding like your friendship with Theo was a problem for her, especially if you're partner also noticed her cold behavior. Insecurity most like, some women don't like it when their SO have a female bestie. Don't quote me on it but it's just a feeling I have.

FireFurFox said:

NTA. People who describe themselves as "brutally honest" are just arseholes who don't want to be held accountable for their actions.

Moggetti said:

NTA. For someone who loves “brutal honesty” so much, she sure doesn’t seem to be handling it so well. I think you should tell Theo, “I’m going to take a page from Amy’s book and be brutally honest. She was rude to me. Don’t expect me to tolerate rudeness from strangers.”

mindbird said:

(As I said elsewhere, I think you did overreact.) I also suspect her comments may have grown from discussions she and your friend have had about your situation, and they may partially reflect his concerns for you. You don't mention whether this pregnancy changed any of your school plans or career choices, but maybe that's part of it.

But at 5 months along, she certainly wasn't going to talk you into terminating, and part of your overreacting may reflect your own worries. I hope everyone gets over it and all goes well for you.

OP responded:

"You don't mention whether this pregnancy changed any of your school plans or career choices." Just to clarify, it didn't! I'm still in college and working towards my career and so is my fiancé.

Theo was actually the only one (aside from Barry) who supported my decision not to terminate the pregnancy so I doubt it's that. He talked to my parents on my behalf and even assured them it wouldn't interfere with my studies.

I agree that she wasn't trying to talk me into terminating, I just felt odd because I told her once already that I was uncomfortable with what she was talking about. The one thing I can surely say is that my reaction had nothing to do with any "worries". I have never been happier (although I am tired constantly haha).

P.s in your other comment you didn't explain why you wrote yta instead of esh since your points seems to indicate you consider ava an asshole as well