'AITA for kicking my MIL out after she commented on my baby weight?' 'Did you get some stretch marks?'
"AITA for kicking my MIL out after she commented on my baby weight?"
I am not sure if my decision here was the correct one or if I was blinded by post partum rage. Please let me know. I (f27) just gave birth to my first baby, a little boy, three and half weeks ago. My husband (m28) and I have been together for 8 years, we met in college and married 4 years ago.
So that being said, I really do love my MIL which I feel is not so common lol. My own mother unfortunately passed away my senior year of high school and to this day I still cry when I think about her.
My MIL quickly filled her roll, or at least as much as someone could. I know that if my mom were here, they would get along so well and I know that my mom is so happy I found someone as great as her to be my MIL.
So anyway back to my baby, I had an unplanned c section due to some complications I had during the labor process. Me and my son are totally 100% fine now but it was scary during.
Recovery has been very hard and painful, especially because I felt very unprepared not having expected to have a c section. However my husband has been amazing during this whole process and my MIL comes often to help too.
So yesterday, I was sitting in the chair breastfeeding when my MIL comes in to chat and sit with me while my husband took a work call. We are just talking about normal stuff- when I will go back to work, how I am, when we are gonna take his cute little pics and send them out lol.
I stood up once my son finished and I guess my shirt rode up a bit and my MIL goes “oh wow, did you get some stretch marks?” Talking about from pregnancy. Honestly this didn’t bother me because I had emphasized how much I was trying to avoid them, and we talked about it a few times.
I was like “oh yeah, they popped up at the end,” and I pulled down the band of my leggings to show her. She saw my little c section belly flap and my baby weight still. She looked at my tummy, looked at my face, and says “oh honey, have you been doing your exercises?”
I was like “oh my god, that’s so rude!” And just tried to laugh it off. But she was dead serious and told me “oh darling I am not trying to be rude at all, I just want you to be healthy! You had an amazing figure, I don’t want you to lose it!”
I was like “okay well I’m not that worried about it right now." She just gave me a “are you sure?” Look. I honestly never thought my MIL would say this to me. She then goes on to basically insinuate that my husband, her son, originally only pursued me because of my figure that he saw (I was a college cheerleader) and that I needed to get back to it.
I was so so offended and I couldn’t help the tears that welled up in my eyes. Obviously I know that my body is different but I am trying to be kind with myself, and that did not help at all. I ended up just asking her to leave. She asked me if I was serious and I said yes, I am going to cry and I don’t want to in front of you.
She stormed out. My husband heard the door slam and was like what the hell just happened? I told him and he was so apologetic and felt horrible. He promised me that he didn’t only pursue me for my body and also that my body isn’t what we are married because of.
He made me feel a lot better and told me that as long as I am healing, I am healthy, which is what my doctor always says. My MIL hasn’t talked to us in two days now. She is waiting for an apology. I don’t want to give her one. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
LikelyNotAFan said:
You had major surgery less than a month ago and are providing around the clock care for a tiny human. Where is the time to even exercise? NTA, those comments were uncalled for and inappropriate.
If they seem out of place, maybe your husband can try to figure out where on earth she was coming from in thinking what she said was at all okay. Congrats on your baby boy!!!
ABlueSummerSky said:
NTA but your MIL is! You're not even allowed to exercise until 6 weeks after a c-section (I had one) so what is she talking about? Be kind to yourself & it sounds like your hubby has your back. Congratulations on your little boy!
Broad_Cheetah_1260 said:
NTA. Your body just did something incredible by bringing a new life into the world, and that should be celebrated, not critiqued. Your MIL crossed a line by making unsolicited comments about your weight, especially during such a vulnerable time. Your husband's support shows where his priorities lie, and it's important to focus on your health and recovery, not bouncing back to pre-baby weight.
Aggravating_Style544 said:
NTA. And, you do not owe her an apology. She owes you one.
foozballhead said:
NTA. I hope to God you never give her an apology. She was grossly out of line and deeply hurtful - to the point where it kind of doesn’t even matter if she was trying to do it or was speaking from some deep-seated insecurities of her own…
She’s too old to not understand that’s a whole heap of crap you never speak to another person. Plus the comments about what her son finds attractive is an extra level of gross.
SomebodysLoudMama said:
NTA. you just had a baby. And a c-section at that! Your body needs rest! I don’t think you should apologize. She owes you one in my opinion.
PhDPlease13 said:
NTA it is NOT her place to comment on YOUR body.