'AITA for kicking out a family that gatecrashed a private party?'

"AITA for kicking out a family that gatecrashed a private party?"

I booked a soft play for my son's birthday party. It has both public sessions and private sessions, I obviously booked one of the private sessions and didn't interfere with the usual times it's available 'to the public'. When I opened the buffet, a woman I didn't know approached me, asking if her children could have some.

I explained I had booked the venue for a private party, she said 'that doesn't matter, my children want some food'. I replied no because the food was for the party. She walked away telling her children to just wait until I had left the food area. Realising she wasn't taking my answer, I asked staff to speak to her.

They did, explaining it was a private event and they needed to leave. She shouted that her and her children were not leaving and that I should be told to allow the children to have the food. I went back over, said again it was a private event, and she shouted 'what is a sandwich?!' repeatedly at me, until I shouted back that she needed to leave.

She did eventually leave, 'flicking the Vs' at me as she walked out the door. The soft play wasn't at capacity, and in truth, there probably was enough for them to have some of the buffet, but the way she approached me with the assumption I'd say yes, and then blatantly planning to disregard my answer made me stand my ground. So AITA for kicking out the gatecrashers?

Not long after posting, OP shared an update.

EDIT: OK so first of all, I did not expect this to literally blow up the way it has... I thought a couple of people would say yes or no, and that would be it 😅

Apologies for the long edit, but there's been a few 'themes' within comments, so I'll try to address them;

A soft play is a massive indoor climbing frame covered in padding and safety nets, with slides and ball pits etc. I think some may call it a 'jungle gym' but I'm not sure that is a direct comparison.

'Flicking the Vs' is a peace sign but showing the back of your hand. About the same level of rude as giving the middle finger in the UK.

The venue shares a desk with an adjoining spots hall, which wasn't running open sessions as it was hosting a game. Past the desk is the exit, (it's one door in, one door out thing) door 1 to the soft play, door 2 to the sports hall. I found out later she had come to use the sports hall and was told about the game. Staff thought she went out the exit.

I've spoken to the venue about her being able to get in, and they apologised and are changing how they operate the private sessions. Despite this happening, I think the place has appropriate security measures.

I think she took advantage of staff being busy letting in spectators to the sports hall and tried her luck. As we have an invite for a party here in a few weeks, I'll know if they do and can raise it again if needed, but hopefully won't need to.

I went back over when the staff member was talking to her because I felt bad that I put a young girl in the firing line. This woman was just shouting that she wasn't leaving, and I also hadn't spotted them come in, but I should have let her/her manager sort it.

This is in the UK. This wasn't a food stamps have been taken and 'chance a free meal or starve tonight' situation. When she eventually left she brought snacks out of the over priced vending machine. That obviously doesn't tell any of us her full story, but the venue has like 10 places with a few minutes walk where much more affordable snacks and food choices are.

Some people asked about the kids ages. Top age of an invited child was 5. Her two kids were 8/9 and 9/10.

I replied to a couple of comments that I would have told her the kids could have some after all the guests had eaten, if it had been a question and not a demand. I am responsible for my actions, but they were influenced by hers, and I am glad I stood my ground and wasn't bullied at my own event, although not proud that I did shout at the end.

Again, I didn't expect this would get so much attention, but to those who were polite and asked questions, thank you.

To anyone who asked 'why are you even asking?' or similar, I was asking to gauge if I was unreasonable for standing my ground because of her actions/reactions. And for anyone who thinks I made it up...I don't know what to tell you...it happened, and I'm glad you've not encountered a similar experience before and/or can't believe it.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Ambitious-Effect6429 wrote:

Yeah, maybe don’t sink to their level and shout. But that lady can shove her entitlement. Sure, “what’s a sandwich?” But how does she know if you only had enough for those attending? Also, shame on the establishment that you had to handle it at all. They should have immediately intervened.

OP responded:

Oh, tbf after she had shouted 'what is a sandwich?!' at me about 6 times, I did shout 'enough, you need to leave.' I wouldn't say I 'screamed' like a different comment said, but I did raise my voice for that one bit before walking off. Which I shouldn't have done, but heat of the moment and all that...

Avgheights510 wrote:

NTA no clue what a soft play is but I'm assuming some kind of kid playground thing, you booked yourself a space and brought/paid for food for your invited guests. This would be the same as somebody demanding entry into your home because they could smell your dinner from the street.

OP responded:

A soft play is like an indoor, massive climbing frame with slides and things. Covered in brightly coloured padding, with a load of safety nets. Sometimes has a big ball pit in it, sometimes a slide goes into the big ball pit. 🙂

mtmp40k wrote:

Erm. Obviously NTA. You are not entitled to things you didn’t pay for? What other possible answer is there.

OP responded:

Thank you. I guess I'm asking because the people who have lost out are 2 kids, and the soft bit of me feels bad for that...

Weird-Cauliflower360 wrote:

NTA. It’s a private party. I just had my daughter’s birthday party in a private area I reserved. I saw some kids around and I offered dessert and treats to them. Their parents were super gracious. There’s a difference between some kids being there and offering versus a parent straight up demanding.

OP responded:

Oh if she had approached me to say, 'sorry I didn't realise there was a party, my kids have spotted the food, do you mind?' My answer would have been to not worry, and once all the party guests had grabbed some, I'd give her a nudge to come get some!

Krofftsurvivor wrote:

INFO - If the space was booked for a private event, how did she and her family get in?

OP responded:

So the main building has a foyer/entrance with the info/ticket desk, and it's like door number 1 leads to the soft play, door number two leads to the other area. The other area is a sport hall type thing, so it is also open to the public at times, and other times it shuts for the sports team to train or to host games.

I found out after that she had come to use the sports hall, which was closed because a game was on, and instead of walking through the exit, she just walked through the soft play door. For some extra info, the soft play has a billion cameras and door release buttons (out of kids reach) so I don't think there is a concern about how she got in, so to speak.

Staff did apologise as they didn't see her come into the soft play bit as they were ticketing the sports game. That is probably setting out more alarm bells about security, but I honestly don't think there's a problem with that, I am probably describing it terribly...

olderguy6432 wrote:

NTA. She thought her family was entitled and tried to push her way so she needed to be knocked back to her space. You were civil and tried but she kept pushing and deserved it.

Go-Mellistic wrote:

Just a guess, but she probably would have complained that her kids picky eating or food allergies weren’t being accommodated.

You did the right thing. NTA.