'AITA for kicking out my husband's friend because of her speech at our wedding?'
"AITA for kicking out my husband's friend because of her speech at our wedding?"
So my husband and I recently got married after dating for 2 years. He has a friend group of 5 since college and one of them is Lana. We weren't really close friends because I am kind of introverted and our hobbies don't really match (they all play video games together but I don't like playing really) but we were cordial.
Not gunna lie, she always seemed a lil passive aggressive with me but I didn't pay much attention to it. My husband did tell me that he once had a little crush on her years ago but she turned him down and that was the end of it.
Now during the wedding preparations she insisted on becoming "groomswoman" since other friends of the group were groomsmen and my husband obliged. On the day of our wedding, we had a little speech section after the main ceremony and before reception, where people were just giving speeches and having a good time.
Then Lana gets up and insists on giving a speech too. She basically talks about the group, and the friendship they had, how close they are with each other and know each other so well, but then she goes onto say something along the lines of "And Cassy, you better thank me for turning him down that time, I basically gave him away so you can have ur soulmate".
I really did not like the way she said it. It felt so passive aggressive. My husband sensed something was off and asked if I was okay. I told him I did not like what she said, and that I am kicking her out from reception because I won't be tolerating any passive aggressive comments at the most important day of my life.
He seemed shocked and tried to argue but I told him that he was free to leave too if he argues. He didn't say anything later. I quietly asked the security to take her out of the venue and to do it discreetly so she doesn't make a scene. Well, after she was gone I was relieved and the reception was amazing, we all had a great time.
Later on we found out that the security asked her to come to the parking lot and then asked her to leave. She did throw a huge tantrum calling for my husband but then was eventually escorted out.
Since then she has openly been talking crap about me to everyone, calling me an "insecure b-word who didn't let her attend such an important event of her best friend's life because of her jealousy".
She also been posting cryptic things about how some women really feel threatened so easily and stuff like that which I know are directed at me. My husband does see my side and agree but still says I was a bit harsh.
He said Lana just likes drama and he just didn't wanna provoke her and give her something to talk about. Honestly at that point I just wanted that one day to be about me, and didn't want any negative energy and just wanted to enjoy fully but now I am doubting myself if I really should have just let that go.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
'Lana just likes drama' ???? Like your wedding is just a random messy Saturday night at the bar. No babe, you're absolutely NTA for discreetly and assertively rejecting the mean girl snottiness at your wedding.
If he'd handled it, you wouldn't have had to. This is on him. Does he like her attention?
throwRA_weddingchaos (OP)
To be honest, he is not super close with her but doesn't really cut her off too because she has been part of the group for so long and he doesn't wanna cause drama so he just let it be. They don't really meet one on one, just with the group.
Just FYI - whenever a man puts another woman above you, you’re second choice. She was immensely inappropriate, on YOUR wedding day and your husband is more concerned about her than you. Are you sure that little crush is really gone?
She will be a problem for you and now that you affronted her , she will do everything in her power to get her revenge and mess with your marriage. And by the way your husband reacted- she may not have a very difficult job to do. NTA but I don’t see this marriage lasting unless your husband shuts her down and even cuts her off completely. Good luck.
I’m confused as to why is he defending her in the slightest if she likes drama. Why is he even friends with her? Close or not. And the fact that’s she’s going around doing that nonsense is wild when she knows what she did. You’re not in the wrong at all. Your husband and that girl are.
His defense is that she likes drama. Why tf keep her as a friend then? NTA, she got all the drama she wanted, and she can go choke on it. "Hey OP, he was mine first, but I turned him down. Congratulations on marrying my reject. Tee hee 😇"
NTA. She humiliated you both at your freaking wedding. You have a husband problem. I would be mortified and if he hadn’t called her out and kicked him out, I would have gotten the marriage annulled. F that. And he still thinks you overreacted?! Your husband clearly likes her attention. I could never be with someone who lets their friends disrespect his wife.
HE needs to handle this so you don't have to anymore. "She just likes drama" yeah well, I DON'T. I DON'T want her drama. I DON'T want her comments. If you're a "guys girl best friend" then you better act like one of his guy friends or leave.
None of his groomsmen would have said what she did, so why does she get a pass? A sister wouldn't have said what she did, so why does she get a pass? Because we are "scared" of the fallout? Thats not a friend that's a tumor. NTA.