'AITA for kicking out my brother after he threw a party in MY house without my permission, completely trashing the place?'
"AITA for kicking out my brother after he threw a party in MY house without my permission, completely trashing the place?"
About 2 nights ago I received a call from my neighbour explaining that there are multiple cars outside my house and loud music coming from inside. I immediately asked my neighbour to knock on the door and ask what's going on.
He was told that it was a party, I was on a night out with my girlfriend and was absolute furious as we had previously made it clear, no parties unless I give him permission.
Little backstory, my brother broke up with his girlfriend who he was living with and we gave him a room in my house until he saved up money from his job to find a place. We obviously had some basic rules like he had to clean and help throughout the house.
Anyway, I thanked my neighbour for notifying me and instantly went home. When I arrived, the music was still loud and I entered to a dirty house, with glasses every and a bunch of drunk men and women. I immediately found him and shut it all down.
Once everybody had cleared out we had a massive argument and I ended up kicking him out at night. The living room was completely trashed, with one of the glasses shattered all over the floor and spilled alcohol everywhere.
The next day my brother called me and we had another argument, him calling me an ignorant AH and insulting me. Am I in the AH for kicking him out in the middle of the night?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
NTA. Congrats to his ex for breaking up with him, though. She dodged a bullet.
Fickle-Leave-2501 (OP)
I agree, even if he's my brother.
Listen. You are not responsible for the fact that this person just happens to be born from the same parents you have. Some people are dumb, point.
I feel the answer here is obvious but I understand the need to feel validated in your reaction. NTA, your brother never should have thrown the party and I think the consequences of doing so was pretty fair.
NTA but change the locks ASAP. Get cameras. He sounds a bit unhinged and may want to retaliate.
NTA.
And if he had enough "friends" to have a party, then surely he knows a few people that will be okay having him stay with them at their place, right?
NTA. Your brother broke a very big rule, directly caused your home to get trashed and had the nerve to argue with and insult you. He deserves to be kicked out of your home permanently.
Fickle-Leave-2501 (OP)
I can assure you that he is no longer welcome on my property.
That's good. I should have probably used past tense deserved, but I wanted to make it clear that your brother shouldn't get his living in your home privileges suspended, but revoked.
NTA. Even without rule 'no parties' he should ask you before throwing a party. Then he even had audacity to argue about this without showing remorse. He got exactly what he wanted. I would even say he was one who kicked himself out of your house.
For the sake of argument, if one wants to hold a party at a property they own and is unconcerned if their place gets wrecked, then I suppose that's a weird flex, but morally ok. It's their place.
If a tenant decided to do this then the tenant would catch hell from their landlady/landlord and properly so. Renting a property does not make it your home into your property.
If a guest decided to hold a party at someone's place and was unconcerned if the place got trashed then I suggest that person read the Odyssey. Not James Joyce's Odyssey but Homer's. A large number of very bad guests were dealt with summarily.
If a guest decided to do this at my place, whether I was a landlord, tenant, or sibling, I would acknowledge I am not Odysseus but I would still kick said guest's ass to the curb.
I don't know if you two had any specific rules or an arrangement about what he could and could not do, but I don't think that is important, since common courtesy, known for millenia, dictates that a guest does not mess up the host's stuff. Your brother is an AH. You are NTA.
NTA. Though if it had been me, I think I would have insisted he clean the house first thing in the morning, then kicked him out.
NTA. This party not only showed you that he does not respect you or your home but that he will do whatever he wants. The name calling is to distract you from the real issue. You kicking him out is a result of his choices. He did this to himself.
He has no respect for you, your belongings, your home, or your neighbors. You would've only been the AH had you.not kicked him out. If the roles were reversed, I'm sure that he would've done the same thing if he actually had two nickels to rub together, of course.
NTA. What’s he calling you an ignorant AH for lol. He’s being disrespectful and ungrateful for the space, and I don’t blame you for kicking him out. The least he could’ve done was ask if it was okay, but throwing a big party that results in damage is just flat out disrespectful and wrong.